How to Start a Friends With Benefits Relationship

By 05.31.13

So why are FWB relationships so popular?

The Good

The obvious and most important benefit is the hassle free sex. Two people that are in good terms, make an agreement that basically stipulates one can use the other for sex, whenever they feel like it. This usually means they are both doing this without any emotional involvement whilst still getting all the fantastic things that come with a sex partner.

The Bad

It never lasts forever. In fact, studies have shown that most FWB relationships end before the 10th encounter because one of the parties starts to get emotionally involved. If your FWB relationship ends even earlier it clearly means that the chick you got involved with, only agreed to this in hopes that she’ll eventually get a relationship out of you. This is something that often happens if you pick the wrong “friend” to turn into FWB.

With that being said let’s look at some guidelines that will surely put you on the right track.

Which Chicks Make Good Friends With Benefits?

In reality you can get almost any girl to become your f**k buddy but most of them will never last the full 10 meetings. In order to have a true FWB relationship you need to pick the girls that are most likely to want the same thing.

When looking at this I like to view women in 2 different categories.

The ones that need a man in their life – These chicks are girlfriend material which want and are constantly looking for a boyfriend. These are the girls that you don’t want to turn into your f**k buddy because it will only last until she’s convinced that you’re indeed just using her for sex.

The ones that don’t need a man in their life – These are the career driven, pushing to be or already are independent women. These women believe that they don’t need a man in their life, don’t need anyone to take care of them and are fine being single and on their own.

This is the sort of woman you want to initially befriend and then turn into your f**k buddy. On a different note, these are also the only women that make good mistresses.

Just like you, they need sex but don’t want nor need a relationship because they either don’t have time for it or simply do not want to put in the effort.

How To Start It

First of all, you need to understand that this isn’t a one night stand. As a result, you’ll have to put some time in, but only in the beginning. This time will allow you to create a friendship with her, something that will enable you to CLEARLY see the type of woman she is.

This is absolutely paramount. If the girl is looking for a guy to have a relationship with, you shouldn’t attempt the FWB scenario. It will probably work for a little while then she will just push you to be in a relationship and will get hurt when you don’t want it.

Once that’s cleared up you just have to make the proposition. Tell her straight up and let her choose. Say something in the lines of “We’re both NOT looking for anything serious right now so, why not have some fun whenever we feel like it?”. If she’s the right type of woman she’ll gladly agree to this. Who doesn’t want hassle free sex if they don’t want or haven’t got the time for a relationship?

Just make sure she's attracted to you and that the proposition doesn’t make you seem like you’re the one that’s trying to make this happen only to force out a relationship in the long run.

How To Make It Work

Like with any other arrangement, some clear guidelines will always help keep things under control.

Make it all about the sex. This means no dates, no walks through the park, no weekends together or any other “couple” activity that might cause you to get emotionally involved.

Don’t do it too often. As shown above, most relationships like this don’t last past the 10th encounter mark. Use that time wisely and you might just able to stretch it. Plus, too much of anything is never a good thing.

Honesty is key. If you’re seeing other chicks and she asks you about it, tell the truth. She’s not your girlfriend so there’s no point in hiding your other affairs.

Be cool about it. If she doesn’t have time, doesn’t want to see and bang you on some night, be cool about it. Losing control will only tell her that you’re emotionally involved, an IDGAF attitude is what you need here.

Don’t react poorly. Same as above, if she’s seeing other dudes (like you should be seeing other women) don’t react like a dumbass. It’s only going to show her that you’re involved. Again, the IDGAF attitude is paramount in a relationship like this.

Keep it private. Nobody needs to know that you two are banging. Having a FWB could be embarrassing for a girl and if you’re the one that embarrasses her then you’re also the one that’s not going to get near that cookie anymore.

Respect her. This isn’t some dirty drunk you met at a club somewhere. This is a person that agreed to give you hassle free sex. How much you respect her is directly related to how long this FWB relationship can continue. The less you respect, the quicker it ends.

When it Ends

Eventually it’s going to end. Nothing lasts forever and the same goes for f**k buddies. Here are just a few guidelines to keep things civil:

If you fall for her, tell her. If she feels the same way, you can live happily ever after. If she doesn’t, it ends there. You can’t continue a FWB relationship if one of you has feelings for the other.

If you see her falling for you and you don’t feel the same way. END it. She might want to continue in hopes that you’ll see the light but that’s just going to break her heart in the long run.

If you find another girl and want to start a relationship with that chick, end the FWB deal. Be honest and tell her upfront before anyone gets hurt.

If she finds another dude and tells you she’s starting a relationship, let it end there. Dust off, move on and find a new chick.

This is the sort of stuff I discuss on my blog and in the free eBook I give out. If you want to increase your success with women, visit – a place where the dating mindset is thrown out the window in favor of more direct and fruitful methods of meeting and seducing women.

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