What Has 414 Legs And Can Turn Those Legs Into Penises? This Crazy Ass Insect That Was Just Discovered
A newly discovered insect has 200 poison glands, 414 legs, and can turn those legs into penises. I say ‘penises’ instead of ‘penis’ because this freak of nature has FOUR dicks, it’s also forged from the fiery depths of hell and will haunt your nightmares from now until the end of time.
The insect, Illacme tobini, was discovered inside of caves near Yucca Mountain, Sequoia National Park, California (some websites are reporting it as being discovered in Spain which appears to be incorrect). The newly-discovered Illacme tobini is a distant relative of Illacme plenipes, otherwise known as the ‘leggiest animal’ on planet earth:
Did I mention that this abomination has FOUR DICKS?!?! That’s simply too much power for one insect to yield. And we’re not even talking about the TWO HUNDRED poison glands! But here we are:
Anyone who saw or read Lord of the Rings knows the phrase goes ‘One Dick to Rule Them All!!!’ It’s not four dicks. Four dicks will send any insect down a spiral of greed, and we just can’t have that happening in the Sierra Nevada caves of California.