ISIS Recruit Creates Oddly Professional LinkedIn Profile That Is Even A Bigger Lie Than Yours And Mine

I think I’m preaching to the choir here when I say that my LinkedIn profile is a heaping load of exaggerated shit. I’ve used words like ‘specialist’ and ‘high proficient’ to describe past job experiences, when the bulk of my duties consisted of taking 45 minute shits while playing Candy Crush with some snot-nosed loser from high school. Any employer with a Dassey IQ or higher can see that my LinkedIn profile is the equivalent of a tuxedo t-shirt.

Hey, fake it till you make it, right?

And apparently that tactic still rings true for the most hellacious terror organization on the planet.

A 43-year-old New Zealand man named Muhammad Daniel has created an oddly professional profile on LinkedIn, declaring himself an ‘education management professional’ with the Islamic State.

LinkedIn swiftly deactivated the account but not before Mirror was able to capture a screenshot.

“Basic English Conversation language. Teaching Grammar, past and present tenses. Teaching with a puppet and enjoyed having fun with the students.

Living in the heart of the Islamic State is a good experience and I encourage others to come and see for themselves.

There’s no danger here and a great place to bring up the family. Except Western Jet fighters that always drop bombs on Civilians!”

Mirror also claims that the last anyone heard from Daniel was in 2014 when he launched an appeal to be granted a new passport because he destroyed the original.

He previously claimed that he joined ISIS because of the New Zealand army’s refusal to reenlist him.

But the question remains–is he proficient in Microsoft Excel?

[h/t Mirror]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.