Iron Dome Condoms Want to Help Save Jews By… Stopping Them From Propagating?
Sometimes, in this line of business, you get a tip that’s too hot to pass up.
In this case, it’s the one I’m about to write about.
For those of you unfamiliar with world history, Israel and Palestine are mired in a conflict which boils down to (paraphrasing here) two groups of the same people both forsaking the Sun God Ra back in 4000 BCE for false idols of their own and bitching ever since about whose required them to be more obsequious to nonsensical tradition in the face of modernity.
“Yahweh doesn’t let us eat shellfish, so he’s better.”
“Yea, well Allah doesn’t let us drink alcohol, so there.”
So, now that you are up-to-speed on all that, let’s talk current events. Basically, Palestine (again, paraphrasing) is launching a shit ton of rockets into Israel because if history has proven anything, indiscriminate mass murder is the sole route to self-determination.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, no bias here), no one in Israel has been killed due to the country’s Iron Dome defense system. Let’s head to the Wikipedia:
Iron Dome is a mobile all-weather air defense system… The system is designed to intercept and destroy short-range rockets and artillery shells fired from distances of 4 kilometres to 70 kilometres away and whose trajectory would take them to a populated area
Cool. And when I think intercepting payloads fired by religious fanatics, I think condoms.
We are two Canadian Israeli Jews, who have family members currently living in Israel and serving in the Israeli Defence Forces. The main goal of this project is to raise money and awareness for the defence of Israeli citizens from the threat of terrorist rockets.
Our plan is to create and sell Iron Dome condoms and apparel online, with the aspiration of donating a portion of profits to help fund the Israeli Defence Force and the Iron Dome Project.
Protect against rockets. Protect against STDS.
That’s catchy. But, this is a scholarly website, so we need to ask: Are Jewish people even allowed to use condoms? Hey, JewFAQ is a page I just found on the internet. Let’s take their word as Gospel.
It is well-established that methods that destroy the seed or block the passage of the seed are not permitted, thus condoms are not permitted for birth control.
Oh, well. I guess maybe Christians who supports Jews can buy condo–oh wait. No. Atheists? Buddhists? Anyone?
Well, if you think it’s a good cause, go support them. If you don’t, hack their website or something.