Meet The ‘Meme Lord’ Who Has Been Hilariously Trolling Dan Bilzerian On Instagram For Over A Year

Few people are worthy of the titled “meme lord” on the Internet. Most of the your favorite Instagram accounts are curated aggregations of great memes made by other people. 28-year-old music video director Jack Wagner a.k.a. versace_tamagotchi, however, is as authentic as it gets.

Last week Playboy called him “the Millennial Andy Kaufman,” a worthy title for a guy who made Costco’s $16 Kirkland 11s a staple in every hypebeast’s closet (…along with the help of John Mayer) and is currently building a pyramid of Jerry Maguire VHS tapes just for shits and giggles.

Versace_tamagotchi is the ultimate in-on-the-joke Instagram comedy account. He’s a man of many personas, from a minor obsession with Fred Durst to mocking the living shit out of Complex News to hawking his own “Everyone Dying from Molly” shirts, clutch for wearing at EDC Vegas to make fun of the PLUR crowd.

Rather than waste time explaining his brand of meta Internet humor to thick-skulled, Monster Energy-loving neanderthals who will never get it, I want to bring attention to a zero in a personal favorite Jack Wagner schtick: His satirical fanboying for Instagram playboy Dan Bilzerian. He ruthlessly makes fun of Bilzerian’s alpha-as-fuck over-the-topness, writing longwinded fan fiction about Dan from the POV of a horny 18-year-old male:

hey guys i know i havent been posting as much. been in a bit of a slump, i think combo of seeing too many terrible memes and also my best friend @danbilzerian accidentally blocking me on insta. anywho, thankfully dan just dropped a series or super inspirational videos on his website and they basically dead lifted me out of my fuckin slump haha. honestly what hes saying is so fucking true. dan is kind of a father figure to me so just like his dad bought him all those cars i feel the same way sorta about doing crazy ass shit with dan. at outback steakhouse we used to do this thing called the ‘bloomin onion 500’ where i would order a bloomin onion and then dan would try to pick up an outback hostess and get her to give him road head while he drove around the block 5 times before i finished eating. he always fucking won too! hahah fuck. that shit was so fun but after doing it for a while it wasnt as fun anymore. we kinda ran out of new outback hostesses in the SoCal region to do it on and i started to get acid reflux from eating those bigass onions too fast. it just goes to show that money cant buy you happiness all the time u gotta appreciate the little things u know? in this crazy ass high stakes poker game called life u gotta take a sec to appreciate the flavor of your grey goose redbull from time to time and have fun playin the game but also make sure you fuckin win every time. hit me up soon dan i was jk about bloomin 500 not being fun just as an example, lets do it again asap/whenever.

View this post on Instagram

hey guys i know i havent been posting as much. been in a bit of a slump, i think combo of seeing too many terrible memes and also my best friend @danbilzerian accidentally blocking me on insta. anywho, thankfully dan just dropped a series or super inspirational videos on his website and they basically dead lifted me out of my fuckin slump haha. honestly what hes saying is so fucking true. dan is kind of a father figure to me so just like his dad bought him all those cars i feel the same way sorta about doing crazy ass shit with dan. at outback steakhouse we used to do this thing called the 'bloomin onion 500' where i would order a bloomin onion and then dan would try to pick up an outback hostess and get her to give him road head while he drove around the block 5 times before i finished eating. he always fucking won too! hahah fuck. that shit was so fun but after doing it for a while it wasnt as fun anymore. we kinda ran out of new outback hostesses in the SoCal region to do it on and i started to get acid reflux from eating those bigass onions too fast. it just goes to show that money cant buy you happiness all the time u gotta appreciate the little things u know? in this crazy ass high stakes poker game called life u gotta take a sec to appreciate the flavor of your grey goose redbull from time to time and have fun playin the game but also make sure you fuckin win every time. hit me up soon dan i was jk about bloomin 500 not being fun just as an example, lets do it again asap/whenever.

A post shared by Jack Wagner (@versace_tamagotchi) on

It gets better:

well its been a pretty fricking insane month. My best friend @danbilzerian has been out of town since election night celebrating Trumps victory. Fucking psychotic situation but basically during the last debate me and dan were shitfaced at Red Robin and we made a bet that if trump wins he has to buy an ACTUAL TRUMP TRAIN and ride it across the country. But the catch is he has to stop in every college town and fuck 3 jaegermeister promo girls in 24 hours hahaha lol so fucking nuts but the lunatic actually did it! Hes in dayton ohio right now and let us use his condo that he called “the poundtown poon playground”. Weve been here for a fortnight living entirely off mimosas and protein powder lmao. Sidenote: u dont wanna know what a jaeger calendar model is willing to do for an instagram shoutout. Long crazy ass story ask dan sometime lol. Dan please hit me up if you see this i got a couple questions and im worried about you also i forgot the password to your @seekingarrangement account so its basically been an all dude situation over here- the guys are starting to get anxious and riled up.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BN5cJvrDMiW/

It’s a mockery of both Dan’s extravagance and generally douchey public projection, along with the mouth-breathers who take Dan’s machismo way too serious. Rather than sending you down the versace_tamagotchi Instagram rabbithole, I curated some of his finest work on Dan Bilzerian in one place. I really dream this becomes a video series of some kind some day:

HAHA welp looks like me and my best friend @danbilzerian went a little #VIRAL this week to say the least. Lmao and thank god we did because the lamestream liberal media is looking for any reason to criticize donald trump lately. Haha glad to give everyone a good laugh and show em how its done, teach the youth right? Theres a lot of young puppies following dan and sometimes the big papa poon-dog has to teach em out to hunt know what im sayin? woof woof Haha anywhom, noticed a couple places like @worldstar cropped me outta the pic which is weird n prob a mistake or glitch. Secondly, to all you idiot liberals who are offended by this pic and what trump said: if women really mind when you “grab em by the pussy” then why would this aspiring model who we hired on seeking arrangements and paid cash to “hang out” 😉 with us agree to take this pic? Lmao CHECKMATE. Heres the thing dude were not perfect nobody said that, in fact theres some things me and dan have done after hours at various Red Robin franchise locations across the country that are downright despicable! but this is america and our behavior and locker room talk is just the actions of one person and its not our fault if the millions and millions of people who watch us every day have a problem with it. so ladies, lol, sorry u got mad at trump and got ur little feelings hurt but guess what lmao youre wrong haha. lighten up! Also when trump said that shit he wasn’t even on camera, it was just a microphone attached to him while he was on a bus. What does that have to do with being president? you think theres like people or countries or agencies that would want to eavesdrop on the united states president who is known for running his mouth after sucking down a couple cold brewskis on a thursday afternoon? Doubt it. Everyone needs to chill the fuck out and lighten up. Last time i checked america is oppression free, in fact the only oppression i wanna talk about right now is how this tilted kilt waitress is about to oppress her boobs into dans face while i feed him a couple nose margaritas on our helicopter ride to the steve aoki show in reno! Peace out nerds!

View this post on Instagram

HAHA welp looks like me and my best friend @danbilzerian went a little #VIRAL this week to say the least. Lmao and thank god we did because the lamestream liberal media is looking for any reason to criticize donald trump lately. Haha glad to give everyone a good laugh and show em how its done, teach the youth right? Theres a lot of young puppies following dan and sometimes the big papa poon-dog has to teach em out to hunt know what im sayin? woof woof Haha anywhom, noticed a couple places like @worldstar cropped me outta the pic which is weird n prob a mistake or glitch. Secondly, to all you idiot liberals who are offended by this pic and what trump said: if women really mind when you "grab em by the pussy" then why would this aspiring model who we hired on seeking arrangements and paid cash to "hang out” 😉 with us agree to take this pic? Lmao CHECKMATE. Heres the thing dude were not perfect nobody said that, in fact theres some things me and dan have done after hours at various Red Robin franchise locations across the country that are downright despicable! but this is america and our behavior and locker room talk is just the actions of one person and its not our fault if the millions and millions of people who watch us every day have a problem with it. so ladies, lol, sorry u got mad at trump and got ur little feelings hurt but guess what lmao youre wrong haha. lighten up! Also when trump said that shit he wasn’t even on camera, it was just a microphone attached to him while he was on a bus. What does that have to do with being president? you think theres like people or countries or agencies that would want to eavesdrop on the united states president who is known for running his mouth after sucking down a couple cold brewskis on a thursday afternoon? Doubt it. Everyone needs to chill the fuck out and lighten up. Last time i checked america is oppression free, in fact the only oppression i wanna talk about right now is how this tilted kilt waitress is about to oppress her boobs into dans face while i feed him a couple nose margaritas on our helicopter ride to the steve aoki show in reno! Peace out nerds!

A post shared by Jack Wagner (@versace_tamagotchi) on

 

TGI FRIDAYS

Alright so ive been trying to keep my friendship w @danbilzerian off insta for a minute after a night at TGI fridays went south during this game we play (basically we go and get unlimited appetizers n try to run up this crazy ass long receipt of apps and for every plate of cheese sticks I eat, dan has to take home one of the waitresses and let them fuck him lmao basically the whole wait staff and some hosts ended up at the crib hahhaa) anywho tried to keep it offline but i just saw this larry king interview and im super fucking pissed off. I dont know much about this larry king dude (his show is on hulu so good indicator that hes a huge fucking failure lmao) but this old fuck treated dan like absolute shit and treated him super unfairly as people often do. Its crazy, people who dont get laid spend so much time trying to bring down others who do. growing up yea i def didnt get laid at all and yea tbh girls were kind of mean to me and had a few nicknames for me that kinda pop into my head once and a while and wake me up in the middle of the night. But once i found dan’s instagram all that changed. When i started following dan i realized that what happened in the past doesnt matter, if u were a loser, who cares, what matters is working out your male insecurities by tremendously overcompensating and lashing out on women as a whole on a large scale to prove to everyone that once doubted you that you were super great the entire time. Maybe larry will learn that one day but maybe not lmao he looks old af will prob die soon, prob die a virgin at that lmao. Raising a big ol middle finger to you larry. Dan hit me up this weekend i miss ya

https://www.instagram.com/p/BLPsBPnDLaZ/

 

Dan’s height

alright losers. Decided to put this rumor to bed once and for all with some good old fashion MATH. Did some very elaborate calculations to solve this mystery, luckily i was able to find the dimensions of the yamaha online. Dont even concern yourself with the equation u probably wouldnt even understand. The math is correct, Dan is nearly 7 feet tall and hes fucking buff too. Stop the rumors. Yes i factored in depth of the Z axis, i have a bachelors degree from a liberal arts school i know this stuff trust me. Hes 6’9″ lets move on.

 

On rumors of Dan jumping on the gluten-free train:

Wow reported already idgaf im reposting. HMMM kinda blows my mind how jealous ppl are of @danbilzerian that they have to make up crazy lies and rumors! Where do i start? First of all dan is big as fuck haha dont think anyone needs that told to them. But while im at it, let me say that dan will look REALLY tall from your view on the floor of chipotle after he fucking clocks you in the freaking face at chipotle for talking shit even though you wouldnt even be able to see anything cause your ass would be KNOCKED OUT hahah and dude the gluten free thing? Are you kidding me? Lol i highly doubt the Dan i know and love would jump on a crazy ass LIBERAL bandwagon like gluten free food. Why would dan even be in a peasant ass restaurant like chipotle in the first place? He is fucking loaded from professional gambling and smart investments! People question if dan has money at all or say he got all his money from his billionaire dad all the time and it pisses me off like no other. He won his money playing poker and trust me he has tons. Kinda annoying. I always tell him “yo dude post another pic on the gram of a bigass fucking stack of cash dude! Show the haters how it really is!” Idk you can only tell people so many times sometimes you cant get it thru the heads of jealous, pussy ass loser hater idiots. Whatever. Dan dont even worry about this facebook post i already paid $19.99 for an online background check on this guy. I have his address and he looks poor as fuck hahahwh lmoa lemme know if u want me to pay him a visit

https://www.instagram.com/p/BH25jtLDp25/

 

Jetset life with dan: 

haha my dude @danbilzerian killin it as usual. Please note my boys got the mophie hooked up and charged: reason being, his iphone 6s plus is about to blow the fuck up with DM notifications haha dude swear to god when he posts a fire gram like this his screen looks like the new york stock exchange ticker but instead of numbers its just grade A poon begging to get into the cargo shorts. Damn what i would do to be on the PJ right now with dan and whoever the other person is who took this awesome photo. smdh just sitting here fantasizing about the feeling of some sizzly bubble private jet champaign splashing against the back of my throat as dan cheers me on. Wowzer. Haha wow just noticed his face lmao hes looking at his fingers like “wow lol cant believe what you bad boys did to that hooters waitress last night lmao maybe i should call and check in on her lol PSYCH hahah” damn anywho dan im literally just chilling tonight, went a little wild last night in LA pretty much sitting here watching some TV not sure if the plane left yet, if not im super down to come kick it w u/ tear up vegas together. I can be at the burbank airport in like 15 mins, you know where to reach me my dude! Although just in case i sent u another DM w my number cause im not sure if my texts have been goin thru to u, havent heard back in a minute figure ur phone is fricked up or ur just busy harvesting acres of pussy like the poon farmer u are haha dude have fun in vegas either way, pour out a miller genuine draught for me! Love you dude! #fomo

View this post on Instagram

haha my dude @danbilzerian killin it as usual. Please note my boys got the mophie hooked up and charged: reason being, his iphone 6s plus is about to blow the fuck up with DM notifications haha dude swear to god when he posts a fire gram like this his screen looks like the new york stock exchange ticker but instead of numbers its just grade A poon begging to get into the cargo shorts. Damn what i would do to be on the PJ right now with dan and whoever the other person is who took this awesome photo. smdh just sitting here fantasizing about the feeling of some sizzly bubble private jet champaign splashing against the back of my throat as dan cheers me on. Wowzer. Haha wow just noticed his face lmao hes looking at his fingers like "wow lol cant believe what you bad boys did to that hooters waitress last night lmao maybe i should call and check in on her lol PSYCH hahah" damn anywho dan im literally just chilling tonight, went a little wild last night in LA pretty much sitting here watching some TV not sure if the plane left yet, if not im super down to come kick it w u/ tear up vegas together. I can be at the burbank airport in like 15 mins, you know where to reach me my dude! Although just in case i sent u another DM w my number cause im not sure if my texts have been goin thru to u, havent heard back in a minute figure ur phone is fricked up or ur just busy harvesting acres of pussy like the poon farmer u are haha dude have fun in vegas either way, pour out a miller genuine draught for me! Love you dude! #fomo

A post shared by Jack Wagner (@versace_tamagotchi) on

 

Dan facts:

Badass Dan Fact #122: Dan tried to become a Navy seal a few times in the year 2000 but the pussy ass navy said he wasnt good enough to be a Seal, they were probably jealous. Anyway, a pussy would give up- but dan paid the producers of the movie “the lone survivor” 1 million dollars so that he could play a Navy Seal in the freaking movie haha! Haha suck it Navy! Who has the last laugh now. Dude so in the end Dan still got to be a navy seal kinda, and he still gets to wear all that badass fucking gear those guys get, but he doesnt have to do missions or follow orders or actually be in the navy and all that shit! While these suckers are out risking their lives for america dan can get freaking hammered at the club, all those broads think hes a seal anyway hahahw dude its so smart! LOL @danbilzerian love you bro!!!! Youre a shining example that “no” doesnt always mean “No.” Hahha bro hit me up im driving back from coachella in a sec and i already threw a couple cold ones down my throat and got a decent buzz going lets rage (kids: this post is sarcastic and im getting tired of people posing angry comments lol how do you not notice?)

https://www.instagram.com/p/BEWfDykiZAM/?taken-by=versace_tamagotchi&hl=en

 

Daddy issues with Dan:

@danbilzerian bro im sure theres an explanation but getting a little stressed/worried about where u are. Left u a couple voice mails last night about how i was gunna finally throw down like the big boys and book a private jet for a one way sky-cruise to poontown. I even found a couple girls to be in photos with us while we fly (def didnt find them on craigslist) and picked up a bottle of crispy bubbly gold to to slurp: Figured u would be here by now but its been an hour and a half and the pilots sayin theyre gunna charge me double if we dont take off. Dude @danbilzerian hit me up dude i was massively stoked to be flying on the small airplane with you and posting hella pics of the experience on instagram so that everyone knows whats up. Not gunna lie dude ur not the first man to leave me hangin, trust me ive spent many innings during my little league games lookin over at the bleachers hoping pops would show up just this once to cheer me on. Tbh thats prob a big reason i look up to you so much my dude lolol. Dude i just figured if me n u went on this trip and posted a bunch of badass fucking pics with guns and chicks my pops may see one and be like “dang maybe i should have given the kiddo more attention. Hes more of a man than ill EVER be and lives a super dope life, i regret not showing up to his pony league games and buying him that sega dreamcast he asked for” lol anyway dan, theres prob a good explanation but PLEASE text me asap my dude. We have wifi on board and im totally down to have them come pick u up if U happen 2 be somewhere on the way to san bernardino. Sorry to bug u ur probably deep into plowing some random chick dude haha my bad anyway, peace and love dude, love you! Text me! Hmu @danbilzerian no homo btw i meant love in like a homie way not like i wanna kiss u n shit way haha lol

https://www.instagram.com/p/BFaLWtGCZFj/

 

RE — Dan skipping leg day: 

DAN! @danbilzerian call me ASAP dude! 911 situation!! Somebody in your circle is trying to sabotage you. That pic of you and all these babes in bali is clearly photoshopped and i think somebody did it before you posted it on facebook to make your legs look skinny!! Guys, i can verify right now that @danbilzerian has never skipped a leg day! We work out together at the equinox (i actually just kinda watch from a distance and take notes on technique he likes to lift alone) but i can assure you hes fucking swole! Dan text me asap lets figure out who did this and i swear to god i will jack them right in the fucking face for you dude. Hit me up asap, theres no way you did this yourself we gotta figure it out. Text me!! Somebody tell dan if u see him

Never  change, versace_tamagotchi. From one fanboy to another, you’re high key the best thing on the Internet right now.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BI5fJSTDiCK/

Brandon Wenerd is BroBible's publisher, writing on this site since 2009. He writes about sports, music, men's fashion, outdoor gear, traveling, skiing, and epic adventures. Based in Los Angeles, he also enjoys interviewing athletes and entertainers. Proud Penn State alum, former New Yorker. Email: brandon@brobible.com