Here’s Why Telling A Woman You Killed Someone Is A Solid Pick-Up Line

by 3 years ago
Shocked Woman


Welcome to another edition of Ask A Bro. I took last week off with the long holiday weekend to recharge the battery and to wait for better questions. Seriously, if one more of you twats asks me about “the friend zone” I’m going to murder a couple bunnies or just start sending out fart jars.

This week, we discuss work distractions, banging baby mamas, punches to the face and murder.

Remember to email questions here and follow me on Twitter.

Let’s help some people…

Q: Before I ask my question, let me say this. I like your style. Stay classy. After 10 very long years, I’m entering the world of school. I dropped out of high school in 2005, joined the Army, and fought bad guys in the name of freedom. Now that I’m a civilian again, the logical thing to do seemed like going to college. Only it sucks. Im the oldest dude in every class. Girls don’t even look legal. (They might be, but they seriously don’t look a day over 16.) With that said, my question is this: how do I transition from being the senior citizen of the class I to being a normal regular student?

A: First off, thank you for serving our country. I like your style. Second, while on the outside you’re at a disadvantage because you look older and possibly a) married b) creepy or c) married and creepy you’re at an absolute advantage as compared to the other baby dicks in the class. You’ve got world experience. You’ve been places. You’ve done things. You’ve possibly killed people. Hell, even if you didn’t, say you’ve killed people. You’re probably interesting as hell. All you’ve got to do is find the one person you can tell this all to so she’ll spread it around school. You’ll be popping out of a sea of vagina like Rambo by spring semester.

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