Meet The Fuck Face Who Filled Jack Daniels Bottles With Piss And Sold Them As Whiskey

by 3 years ago

That would be Nicholas Stewart of Blackpool, Scotland and honestly, fuck him. Because he was arrested for selling Jack Daniels bottles on the street in Scotland, filled not with the sweet nectar that is whiskey, but with his own fucking piss.

Which is gross. Jack Daniels ain’t the best whiskey, but drinking some of it is most certainly better than unwittingly drinking someone else’s urine. That’s a fact.

Stewart was slinging JD on the street, some black market-type shit which you shouldn’t buy, but still, even then, you could maybe expect the product to be diluted with water, not tainted with colored urine designed to fool you into drinking pee.

Here is the motherfucker.

Fuck him.

From the website Gap Year:

The bottles were confiscated by security staff when Stewart was caught trying to flog his bodily wares on Blackpool Promenade, a popular visitor destination. While some bottles contained nothing more offensive than flat cola, others contained “water laced with urine and faeces probably to give the so-called whiskey colour,” according to Blackpool Council prosecutor Victoria Cartmell.

Stewart used empty Jack Daniels bottles to hold his excretions, and managed to reseal them so effectively that members of the public couldn’t tell they had been so disgustingly tampered with.

Since it was black market booze, people will have no recourse. They’ll just have to live knowing they drank stranger piss. Maybe Jack can send those poor people a few bottles.

So, it should go without saying, but don’t buy bottles of whiskey from strangers. Unless you want to get the concoction I’ve dubbed … Pisskey.

Stewart was sentenced to 70 days in jail, which doesn’t seem like enough.

[H/T Chris Illuminati]


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