If You Ever Get Your Penis Trapped Inside A Sex Toy Don’t Do What This Guy Did, Because OH DEAR GOD

By 10.17.16

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A 50-year-old man in Honduras was feeling lonely — painstakingly lonely — so he did what most lonely men don’t do: he stuck his dick in a “sex toy” bottle and it got stuck. Then, he continued to take the road less traveled and instead of immediately going to the ER to get the bottle stuck to his cock removed, he waited FOUR DAYS until the thing turned black.

You can see where this is going, yes? Of course you can. We’re taking a first-class trip to Dick Amputation City and this guy is the new mayor.

According to the doctor who performed the operation:

Speaking after the operation, Dr Chirinos said: ‘We had a 50-year-old patient, that, because he didn’t have a girlfriend or a wife, wanted to relieve his sexual frustration.

‘So he put his penis in a bottle and this caused the death and necrosis of the penis.

‘When he arrived four days later we had to amputate the penis completely because it was completely dead.’
He added: ‘When you put your penis into a bottle it causes a constriction in the blood vessels of the penis and within four hours you can lose the penis.

‘This is an embarrassing emergency. The situation with this patient it that he didn’t get the medical attention in time and this caused the penis to begin to decay and die completely.

‘There was no choice but to completely remove the penis.

‘It wasn’t just the case here that it had died, it had gone completely black and had begun to decay. The necrosis was very severe.’

Moral of the story: don’t be a pathetic 50-years-old man who is so lonely that you reduce yourself to fucking shampoo bottles. Wait…that wasn’t the moral I was going for.

[H/T Daily Mail]


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