Are you a hooker? No? Bummer. Normally I’d give you a high-five and say “Way to not flop around on your back for dolla dolla bills y’all,” but now that escorts on Wall Street are charging their clients up to $1,000 an hour, it looks like you may need a career change. And yes, by “you” I mean “me” because I’m clearly not earning $1,000 an hour writing dick jokes in a SoHo office…although the lack of AIDS and herpes is nice.
According to Daily Mail, escorts in New York are currently earning more than $200,000 a year due to the fact that Wall Street bonus payouts given in January and February are now finding their way into the pockets of the ladies who stalk the streets at night. It’s not just NYC hookers who are making bank though – escorts from Canada are travelling down to the U.S. to make money while it’s still available.
CNBC spoke to an escort called Holly, from Vancouver, who said she charged $1,000 an hour with a two-hour minimum for her services, flying in to New York twice a month. She spends the rest of the time flying from city to city across the US.
The 28-year-old plans to retire in November with $100,000 saved.
Another,29-year-old Chelsea, moved to Manhattan ten years ago from Canada and told CNBC how she earns more than $200,000 a year.
Describing her interaction with traders, she said: ‘It’s the market here in New York so that’s what you’re dealing with – Wall Street guys. They’ve got money and they want sex.’
‘Business has been good. I can tell you firsthand that bonus season was great this year. Sometimes my guys like to talk about their jobs and stuff. They all got paid this January and February and then spent their money.’(via)
In other words: if you’re about to graduate high school and are thinking of going to college, drop that acceptance letter and get your ass on up to NYC and start hocking yourself on the street. With any luck you’ll be able to retire by the time you’re 30 and buy your own private island off the coast of North Carolina…or you’ll end up like Jennifer Connelly in Requiem for a Dream. Eh. Could be worse…
…but not really.
[H/T Daily Mail]