Martin Shkreli’s face could not be more punchable if he had a swastika tattooed on his forehead. I’m a lover, not a fighter, but I’d cough up pay-per-view money to unload some stress on pharma douche’s cheekbone.
And it’s not because he jacked up the price of a 62-year-old drug that is the standard of care for treating a life-threatening parasitic infection from $13.50 to $750. And not because he paid $2 million for a Wu-Tang album just to be a troll. No, no neither of those things come into play here.
It’s because of the God-given structure of his face. He’s the kind of kid that when you meet him, you know, without question, that you simply could never be friends with him. I’m not sure I’d accept an organ transplant from the dude if he was the only eligible donor. I’ve lived a good life. My time is my time.
This is a good day for me–for us–because Martin Shkreli has extended a proposition to his 147,000 Twitter followers.
Donation for my PR consultant who passed away. Leaves behind a young child who is recovering from cancer.https://t.co/YLRa4PGTRe
— Martin Shkreli (e/acc) (@MartinShkreli) September 26, 2016
I will auction one slap/punch in the face to benefit my friend Mike who passed away & leaves behind a young son who survived cancer. DM bids
— Martin Shkreli (e/acc) (@MartinShkreli) September 26, 2016
I'll match donation to a certain point. You may video the slap/punch. Mike architected my publicity stunts & I bet he is watching, smiling. https://t.co/kqnvQtJ10T
— Martin Shkreli (e/acc) (@MartinShkreli) September 26, 2016
So far the two highest bidders to punch or slap me in the face are for $78,000 and $25,500. Let me know!
— Martin Shkreli (e/acc) (@MartinShkreli) September 26, 2016
The irony of him raising money for cancer but jacking up the price on a drug for another deadly disease is probably lost on the poor bastard, but I guess I respect his punchable face for his decent act.
Sucks I don’t have the cash.
But I do got Venmo.
And if I don’t win the auction, I got some motivation for the bro who does. Look at this picture. Study it. And then, unload.
[h/t Uproxx]