Huge Yuppy Brawl At Kentucky Oaks Results In Untucked Pastel Shirts And A Dude Being Force Fed A Mouthful Of Boat Shoe

No one knows what sparked this fight at Kentucky Oaks (the Churchill Downs race which takes place a day before the Derby), but I’d be willing to guess it was over which mutual funds to invest their fathers’ money in to yield the highest returns. I honestly haven’t seen that many swings and misses since I tried to spit game at the bar this weekend. Christ.

Here is a mint angle of the boat shoe boot.

It’s unclear whether or not charges will be pressed on any party. Oh wait, this just in…

[h/t TFM]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.