Meth Head Breaks Into Zoo And Swings From Monkey Trees Screaming ‘I AM TARZAN!’–And You Can’t Prove He’s Not

^^You guys sure you got the right guy? This dude looks completely sober. Actually, on closer inspection, he looks like he could not be higher.

According to the L.A. Times, a 37-year-old shirtless man named John William Rodenborn was arrested after breaking into the monkey exhibit at the Santa Ana Zoo.

The man, who was allegedly high on crystal meth, was covered in mud and made a commotion at the zoo when he started swinging from branches screaming “I AM TARZAN!”

I was able to obtain the surveillance tape from the Santa Ana Zoo.

It’s real.

The man was able to scale the walls of the zoo entrance and enter the park without paying. Ok, now I truly believe he could actually be Tarzan.

Once inside, Rodenborn climbed on the bird exhibit and scaled a 20-foot tree screaming “that he was, in fact, Tarzan,” said Santa Ana police spokesman Cpl. Anthony Bertagna.

Check out the police recording of Santa Ana Zoo Director Kent Yamaguchi making the live call to police as he gives the play-by-play of Tarzan’s movements.

“We have a gentleman who appears to be under the influence of something and is climbing in our trees and jumping into animal exhibits,” Yamaguchi is heard in the 911 call recording.

“Oh, Okay, wow,” the dispatcher responded.

“He climbed up into the tree and then proclaimed himself that he was ‘Tarzan,’ and that he was here just to have a good time,” Yamaguchi said.

Besides being against the law and all that shit, this is a genius idea for zoos everywhere. Hire some tanned, jacked dude with long hair and have him swing from branch to branch claiming he’s Tarzan. Add a different element. Shake it up a bit. Maybe have the monkey’s maul him to death during the finale. Just a thought. This idea is copyrighted.

[h/t Gawker]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.