Workers Of Walmart Shared Their Most NSFW ‘People Of Walmart’ And This Is The Stuff Nightmares Are Made Of

By 12.15.15

If New York City and Lady Liberty are shining beacons of everything we love about the Free World and Capitalism then Walmart‘s sort of like that flickering fluorescent light that’s been on since the 1970s in the basement of your local Chamber of Commerce. The economy would crash without Walmart, we know this. Walmart is the greatest place on earth to do like 50% of your shopping, because for less than the cost of a night at a NYC steakhouse you can get a shotgun, some fishing gear, pedialyte for when you’re hungover, and enough KY jelly to last you until the year 2100.

Everyone of you knows ‘People of Walmart’, the blog that became famous for sharing photos of outrageously dressed customers shopping at Walmart. The customers in those pics seem to think Walmart’s their home and they can dress however the shit they want. This is not a collection of those photos, this is a collection of stories collated by myself from AskReddit in which the workers of Walmart (or friends or workers) share the most fucked up/nsfw things they’ve ever seen happen in the stores. So let’s get to reading!


mortal19:

I don’t work there, but I have a friend who hasn’t been in a Wal-Mart in 15 years. He flat out refuses to go in for any reason. He’s a pretty down to earth guy (not the type who thinks he’s better than anyone else), but he avoids Wal-Mart specifically because of the people who shop there (his reasons usually center around crying babies, overweight aisle cloggers, and the few weird old men who sit by the entrance/exit gawking at the college girls).
One day my friend and I were looking for a certain product before leaving town on a trip. We had been to a few stores around town, and I kept telling him, “I know product x is at Wal-Mart, we should just go there”. Finally he agrees to visiting big box land, but he will go in the Home Depot next door to look for the product while I go in Wal-Mart.
As soon as I step inside the door, I see a massive woman on a motorized shopping cart with her massive 12 year old son standing on the back of it. She is screaming at him saying, “Now you get offa there boy!” or something like that. His retort: “Fuck you mama, you ain’t even handicapped!
I got the product we needed that day, but now I do my best to avoid Wal-Mart.


laserbong:

Saw an old man take a dump on the floor of the bread aisle once.


Intelligenetic:

I don’t work at Walmart; but when I was half way across the country visiting some friends the Walmart in their town had a meth lab bust in the men’s restroom.


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