Paper Tiger North Korea Threatens To Turn Washington D.C. Into A ‘Heap Of Ashes’ With Pre-Emptive Nuclear Strike – LoLz!

Hey, guess who’s popping off at the mouth again about blowing up the world despite consistently showing that their weapons are dogshit? If you said “North Korea” give yourself a cookie. On Monday, North Korea threatened to turn Seoul and Washington D.C. into “a heap of ashes through a Korean-style pre-emptive nuclear strike” if they showed any signs of aggression toward the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea during annual military drills between South Korea and the United States. South Korea expressed “strong” regret over North Korea’s warning, saying the drills with the U.S. are purely defensive in nature.

You see, since North Korea is constantly talking about obliterating everyone with their nuclear arsenal, so that forces countries like the United States and South Korea to perform military drills in case those threats actually become a reality. The two allies carry out many drills together like in March and last August. This year’s Ulchi Freedom Guardian drills, which began on Monday involving 25,000 American troops and 50,000 South Korea soldiers, will take place over the next 12 days and are mostly computer-simulated war games.

The U.S. and South Korea have repeatedly said they have no intentions of invading North Korea.

There is one minor, itsy bitsy hiccup in Pyongyang’s plan to blow up Washington. D.C. is 6,877 miles away, but their long range missile can only travel 2,485 miles. And that’s even if the missile makes it past launch, which many have shown not to do so well. Sorry to spoil your day Kim Jong-un.

Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un is also pretty cranky because the U.S. plans to place a defense missile system in South Korea. The U.S. Terminal High-Altitude Area Defense system will be installed in South Korea because Pyongyang can’t fucking shut up about blowing up nations.

Kim is also in a real cantankerous mood after a senior North Korean diplomat defected.

From Fox News:

Thae Yong Ho, No. 2 at the North’s embassy in London, had recently defected to South Korea because he was disillusioned with the North’s leadership. Pyongyang’s state media called him “human scum” and a criminal who had been ordered home for a series of alleged criminal acts, including sexually assaulting a minor. South Korea’s president said Monday there were signs of “serious cracks” in the North’s ruling elite class, and that Pyongyang could carry out some action to divert public attention away from such domestic problems.

Once again, North Korea is the scrawny 143-pound dude who got drunk off of three Mike’s Hard Lemonades and suddenly thinks that he is tough shit and challenges a linebacker from the football team to a fight, but the 6-foot-4 linebacker knows he might kill this blitzed imbecile with one punch so he ignores him. Hey Kim Jong-un, how about a little more effort on feeding your citizens and a little less unwarranted shit-talking.