Alcohol makes everything better. Well except piloting a plane, an automobile, heavy machinery, or nuclear submarine. And it probably doesn’t enhance funerals or pregnancies. You probably shouldn’t be drunk while shooting a rocket launcher or a nailgun either. But besides those few exceptions, alcohol makes everything better, even soccer.
Binge drinking and sports already go hand-in-hand, why not make the players get plastered. These genius Norwegians combined their love for booze and their love for soccer to make one incredible shitfest. These brave players drank their fucking faces off before, during, and I surmise after a soccer match. In order for the teams to qualify for the game, both squads had to have an average blood alcohol content of 1.0. And to make things legit, any player who scored a goal must blow at least a 1.0 on a breathalyzer in order for the goal to count. Not to advocate cheating here, but shouldn’t you make sure that your goalie was sober as a judge because he isn’t scoring anyway?
As one would imagine, drunk soccer is MAGNIFICENT! There’s people puking on the sidelines, players slamming into each other, and athletes tripping over the lines in the field. Instead of chugging Gatorade, players were guzzling tequila, wine, and anything else that had any trace of alcohol in it.
Meanwhile in the Czech Republic, they just call this “our national soccer team.”