Is This The Greatest, Most Offensive, Soul-Crushing, Hilarious Pizza Story Of All-Time?

When you pick up a piping hot pizza, you will hold that scorching box perfectly straight despite the pain because you know one tilt of the wrist will result in all that gooey cheese sliding to one slide, and de-cheesing one half of the delectable pizza. Then once you get the pizza into your car, you delicately handle that pizza like it was a landmine with an extremely sensitive trigger. You cautiously place the cheesy delicacy on your car seat, manipulating the box, making sure it is precisely level. Finally, you get home and pour all of your focus on not tripping and dropping your precious dinner in the driveway. However, there is one abominable barbarian who does not subscribe to babying his pizza.

Joewen Wilson worked at the Original Philadelphia Style Pizza & Subs for five years. He shared a stomach-churning, soul-crushing story of a regular customer who did not take care of his carry-out pizza. Joewen brought the light to this grim monster during an epic tweetstorm that highlighted the rapscallion’s irresponsible actions that were downright deplorable.

This is one hell of a tale that is a roller coaster of emotions. At first there’s curiosity, then anger, followed by sorrow, then rage and finally hilarity.

Trigger Warning: The following contains graphic details that some pizza enthusiasts may find disturbing.

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687084589446262784

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687084859156742148

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687085176803819520

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687085518673297408

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687085947666731008

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687086135571525633

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687086135571525633

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687086486672551936

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687086975162183680

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687087302246580225

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687087896084541441

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687088266655477760

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687088544419045376

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687088689835540481

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687089618077020160

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687090487816286208

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687090630552608769

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687091262537752576

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687092086328422401

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687092547836112897

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687093028834684928

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687093293952425984

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687093559313457152

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687093835256741888

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687094002806603776

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687094292414894080

https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/687095867954839554

Joewen even presented illustrations of the savagery.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CYoiyQuWkAA7Ukb.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CYok9BnWwAEQMR3.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CYoqIDNWMAAy5bK.jpg

Some men just want to watch the world burn.