In a thread asking dudes ‘if the Bro Code was an official document, what would you like to see included’ a whole bunch of bros came forward with their best submissions for the Holy Bible of Bro, and I must admit that some of these are actually pretty good. I’m not sure why I’m surprised that the random denizens of the Internet actually put forward some good ideas on what the ‘Bro Code’ official document would include, I guess on some level it’s just not something I’d expect random strangers to take seriously, but the power of brotherhood appears to have prevailed as over 2,600 people left suggestions.
Below are the best entries for official ‘Bro Code’ document (via AskReddit), so if any of you have a pen handy you might want to jot these down and start penning the official ‘Bro Code’, or you can just bookmark this for later and get that done during the long weekend.
laffinator:
If two bros know the same story, the bro who is lesser known among the party or group shall tell it.
therealmaxipadd:
If your Bro dies during a workout, throw a couple more 45s on the bar before you call 911
enzo32ferrari:
Don’t throw friends under the bus to impress others
r_e_d_d_i_t:
You shall provide pizza and beers for any bros who help you move houses
McRabbit:
If a bro is excited to tell a story that you’ve heard from another, pretend it’s your first time hearing it
vaevictis037:
Up for acknowledgement, down for respect
AWildCookieMonster:
If your bro has a girlfriend, be completely nice to her. If he asks for your honest opinion, be straight up about your thoughts.
Jesus-chan:
Never drink the last beer at someone else’s house
Shayde505:
Your favorite beer is free. your second favorite beer is cold. If your bro offers a beer don’t bitch it isn’t your brand
ganlet20:
If a bro dies and you have a chance to clear his internet history destroy his hard drive you must do it.
Alwayslinear:
Thou shalt not hit your bro in the balls and claim it was a joke.
BeachBum09:
If you happen to know a guy’s girlfriend or wife is cheating on him, you let him know. Doesn’t matter if you barely know the guy at least drop him an anonymous hint.
versusChou:
Urinal laws: Never take the urinal directly beside someone else if there are any others available.
Conversation must stop no later than when the stream starts.
Zbignich:
Her friend might be ugly, but if you are the wingman, you are the wingman.
If you are not the wingman, you will never comment on the fact that your wingman went for ugly.
mattirad:
We were all that bro trying to get into a group of friends, we weren’t born with with the Bros we have. Let another bro at least hang about with your group.
ExxInferis:
If a friend is telling a story and you can ‘one-up’ it, don’t.
Baby_Powder:
Older bros are a resource. Find a chief and accept his wisdom. This will make you a better bro.
F1NANCE:
Absolutely no getting with a guy’s ex-girlfriend unless he has given you his blessing.
McCullough654:
No matter how great your relationship with your girlfriend is, you won’t completely abandon your bros to hang out with her all the time and then come crawling back after she dumps you.
beeblebrox_life:
Re-rack your weights. Seriously.
silvergun_superman:
Thou shall never speak of your friends’ sexual conquests to your significant other.
LesterPearsonsProjct:
If you borrow my tools, you’d best return them in the same condition they were in when you got them, or better. Also applies to vehicles and musical instruments.
SnowHesher:
No sleeping with a bro’s mom unless she’s the one who initiated it – or unless she’s wearing something leopard print.
PM_ME_TITS_N_KITTENS:
Thou shall keep thy Bro from Crazy, for Crazy shall destroy thine bro-hood.
Fredofsky:
A bro shall never use another bros’ razor or towel without explicit permission. This especially because of my brother the prick
dok7747:
One bro’s sister is another bro’s sister. Let’s not make things weird guys.
Back2Bach:
Take turns paying the bar bill or dinner check, and keep it evenly balanced, 50/50 sharing.
SpartanPoof:
No man shall ever disgrace another man for his sexual orientation, thy brethren are one in the same regardless of their love interests.
HiImJBags:
BBQ and Cookout Bro Rules
A bro may help the cooking bro at the grill or smoker only if given permission. Assume the bro that owns the cooking apparatus is doing the cooking.
A bro’s main job at the cookout is to help entertain the cook while food is being prepared.
A bro shall bring his own alcohol to these events. If other bro’s run out of alcohol and you are sober, offer to make the beer run with unprepared bro’s, unless you are the host.
It is not acceptable for a bro to become incoherent at these gatherings, this is not a bar, this is your bro’s home, respect it and maintain it.
If the host bro is married, a bro must compliment the wife on how nice the house is.
A bro shall leave at a decent time if the host bro has kids.
Last but not least, this bro went all out with his response:
Quest4Queso:
Not gonna lie, I copied and pasted this but it’s a good answer from a previous thread.
The Brostitution
1) You must always have your bro’s back. No exceptions.
2) When your bro’s girlfriend inquires about his whereabouts you know nothing, always.
3) You are only obligated to wingman for one bro per social event; after that, the bro is on his own.
4) When a bro designates you as his wingman, you may not fail him. This is the most important role a bro may play for a bro. It is not be violated or debauched.
5) You must always do whatever is in your power to stop a bro from soiling himself with a poor looking girl—unless the bro is able to stand up, look you in the eye, and articulate that he is to a decent extent sober. Then you are absolved of any responsibility.
6) When a bro pays for all the alcohol for an occasion himself, this must be made known to all present and made out to be the greatest feat ever observed in human history. A bro may skip out on kicking in for beer if he has done this recently.
7) A bro must always respect another bro’s car, house, and parents.
8) Love thy father and mother. A bro will never ever get with a bro’s biological mother or sister. Stepsisters and stepmothers are fair game. This article is subject to the All’s Fair Clause.
9) When a bro is showing his bro’s his new ride, he is always required to open the hood and showcase the contents. All bros present are required to admire the content, even and especially if they know nothing about cars.
10) When a bro asks a bro what he thinks of his girlfriend or date, a bro is always required to give an honest answer. The phrase, “I’d bang her” is off limits.
11) A bro will never ever leave his bros without a ride. A bro must never be allowed to walk alone more than 2 blocks.
12) A bro will never ask for gas money for a ride unless he truly is hard up, or the ride exceeds a distance of 20 miles.
13) When gas money for a ride is offered, it may be accepted. Use your own bro-judgment to determine if you should accept.
14) A bro shall never make another bro ashamed for hooking up with a girl. Even if she was truly nasty, a bro will make excuses for his bro. Example, “you were drunk so…”
15) If a bro is terrible at sports, excuses may be made, no matter how bad they are. Good bros will start to play worse so that their bro doesn’t look so bad. This clause is subject to nullification by extreme competition.
16) A bro will never make another bro look bad in front of a target girl. Any such attempts should be swiftly punished by the designated wingman. Afterwards, the bro who infringed upon this rule may be confronted by the whole circle of bros.
17) A bro will always ask around before taking the last of anything. If a bro should ask you if its alright, unless the need is great or direct ownership is applied, you will let him have it. Common courtesy and the bro code go hand in hand.
18) A chick may be included in the bro code if she has proven herself worthy via general bro concession.
19) A chick may never be informed of the sacred rules of the bro code. A chick may be treated as a bro but never told of the rules. When reprimanding a girl for an infringement of the bro code, say “its just common courtesy.”
20) A bro will never let another bro drive drunk. Space must always be found or made for a drunk bro who needs to leave. If necessary, the theft of phone and keys shall be done for his own good. (exception: a designated group drunk driver exists, this bro has mastered the art of driving under the influence and has proven his worth)
21) A bro will never allow another bro to drunk dial or txt a girl. No exceptions to this rule. When a bro is truly smashed and his girl calls, the phone will be confiscated until a sober state of mind is achieved.
22) If a bro’s girlfriend calls you and asks about a bros actions the previous night, (I.e. the bro claimed to be sleeping at a friend’s house) you will always claim that yes he was there and you may even claim he is still there. Studies show that 8 out of 10 bros will do this without thinking. The other 2 bros claimed he was still with them but unavailable to talk.
23) You will always make excuses for a bros actions, no matter how obscene. All things done by a drunk bro must be forgiven. No exceptions.
24) A bro should always be allowed to make amends for his actions.
25) A bro will always give his bro’s girl a ride to wherever, so long as restitutions are made for the action.
26) A bro will never give detail when describing a sexual encounter. Doing so will force your bro to imagine you naked and this is unforgivable.
27) A bro will always do his best to help another bro’s self esteem. The Alpha-Bro should always be handing out the wisdom and power of his skill. A bro will always recognize the master seducer of the group.
28) A bro should never ever under any circumstances sleep with a bro’s ex-girlfriend. A bro may proceed to make moves on another bro’s failed target (he got rejected) but only after asking permission first. If the bro declines your invitation to bust some moves, you must adhere to his wishes and find a new target.
29) If permission for rule 28 has been given by a bro, and success is evident for yourself. One must always put it down to it being the girl’s preference and not due to your superior abilities. If a bro proceeds to become butt-hurt about your success where he failed, you are under no obligations to make him feel better or apologize for your success.
30) A bro will always take care of a bro who is blacked out, throwing up, and incase parents or girlfriend call. If a bro’s parents demand he comes home immediately, one will immediately allow him to use a shower and whatever else is necessary to make sure a bro receives no enemy fire on the home front.
31) A bro will always tell a bro what he did when he was blacked out. No matter how bad.
32) A bro must always maintain a safe physical distance from a bro’s girl, especially when drinking. Physical contact may only be made with a bro’s girl, when saying good bye. No exceptions.
33) A bro will always do his best to stop a bro from getting tattoos. A bro’s skin is the largest organ he has and the second most important. Especially if the tattoo is of a girl. Chicks will dump you and play with your heart, but a bro will protect you like his own private parts.
34) When a promise is made, it shall be kept. And under no circumstances shall it be broken.
35) The way of the bro is sacred, cherish it like a sect or cult. The bro life is like being in Jedi training camp. You must always show your bro love and be joyous when bro love is shown to you.
36) Bro-mance is allowed but only among your tightest bros. Never take your bro-mance too far. And if anyone should remark negatively upon your bro-mance. An immediate beat down should ensue. Should a girl comment negatively upon the bro-mance, kindly explain to her that she will never know love from a man such as you and your bros share. And let her know what a privilege it is to be a mere witness to your glory.
37) The fist bump is a bro’s greatest weapon aside from the bro code itself. It should be used to show support, acceptance, pride, and it is an all around green light for an action that was committed. Use the fist bump often, and show constant appreciation for your bro’s jokes and skills with it.
38) Corollary to rule 37, the denial of a bro’s fist bump is a terribly powerful slap in the face. To deny a fist bump is no light thing, and should only be done when there is very great disapproval of an action.
39) Never refer to a bro by his last name, this is a sign of disrespect. Always refer to a bro by their name, nickname, or any standard bro word.
40) Standard bro names include but are not limited to; bro, dude, man, and anything with bro in it. (example: broham.)
41) Always respect a bro’s viewpoints about anything from politics to cars to religion. The only time a bro’s views do not matter is when they conflict with the bro code. If such a case should happen, the bro should be immediately evicted from the bro circle, until correctional actions have been made.
42) A bro should always treat for food when a bro is broke. Signs that a bro is broke are phrases like, “I’d rather eat at home”, “I’m not hungry”, “I just ate”, and finally “I’m trying to save money so ill eat at home.”
43) Similar to rule 42, when discussing the purchase of party beverages, if a bro declines to offer money. The other bros should cover for him. No bro should be denied thirst quenching goodness just because it’s a tight week or month.
44) A good bro will always encourage his bros to be an Alpha-Bro when it comes to talking to girls. If necessary demonstrations of your prowess may be made to give your bros something to work with.
45) A bro is only allowed to do really stupid things when he is really drunk. A bro may be denied further access to alcohol when it is obvious he has drunk too much already.
46) All things must be forgiven among bros, with the exception being your drunk bro feels up your girlfriend. This allows for an immediate punch to the face, but only after all other bros have been told and are gathered to watch the punishment. Before the blow is delivered, your drunk bro must have the situation explained to him. Because he is drunk, he will probably agree that he needs to be punched.
47) Under no circumstances should a bro ever be hit in the genitals for any reason. Ever.
48) You should only ever make fun of a bro for minor things that don’t affect their physical attributes.
49) The only time that cockblocking is condoned by the bro code is when the designated cockblocker (aka the bombardier) has viable reasons to stop a bro from hooking up with a girl.
50) The Golden bro rule that everyone knows: Bros over hoes. This rule may be seasoned to taste by the bros themselves. Example; Bros over hoes except at the close.
All of these entries came from a thread over on AskReddit, and you can follow that link to see all 2600+ comments and/or submit your own. Also, ss I always do with blogs like this I invite any of you bros to send us your own suggestions by filling out the anonymous ‘TIP OFF‘ line or you can leave your suggestions down below in the comments.