Highly Entertaining Video Of An Old Man Shooing A Prostitute Away With His Cane After She Demanded Money For BJ

Now I’m not totally in the know on the nuances of how prostitution works (30 days clean NBD), but it makes the most sense to me for the woman to collect the money before putting Old Man River’s pruney scrotum in her mouth.

I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but when you’re horny, you’re vulnerable, and when you’re vulnerable, you make poor moral and fiscal decisions. I’ve taken an uber trip so far for a late night hookup, the dude had to stop at a rest stop so we could piss and pick up beef jerky. Shit was surge priced too, Uber’s got me on a fucking payment plan as I type this.

But post-ejaculation, forget about it–the only thing you want to do then is take a shower and scrub off that sticky stench of shame. You know what you don’t want to do? Reach into your pocket and pay for the experience with your newfound clear conscience. Degenerate You is a you of the past. It’s like receiving a Venmo request from your buddy the morning after you did his cocaine. Sorry dude, that ship has sailed. Fun night last night, but now I just found my morals and I have a migraine. I’ll get the next one. Once those balls are empty, all good will is thrown out the window. Prostitution 101: pay then play. I’m not saying this chick doesn’t deserve what she’s owed, but sometimes the hardest lessons end up being the most beneficial in the long run.

Best part of the video, by far, is the old man trying to casually snake away while the chick is trying to form sentences. The dude hasn’t walked that fluidly since the 1936 Berlin Games. Went full-blown Benjamin Button. It’s amazing what the body is capable of when $40 blowjob money is at stake.

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[h/t News Dog]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.