Parents Must Sign Permission Slip Before Their Kids Can Eat… OREOS!?!?

By 03.27.15
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I’m an old man compared to most of you bros. I’m so old that when I used to ride my Stegosaurus to school, every kid would bring in baked goodies on their birthday. We had mounds of cupcakes made of love and gluten. Birthday cakes with the most sugary frosting that Duncan Hines produced. Rice Krispie Treats with marshmallows and carbohydrates oozing out of them. We even had fucking peanut butter cookies! Outlandish I know. However we are in a vastly different world now. A world that fears even the most innocent of pleasures, Oreos.

A Pennsylvania middle school teacher wanted to used Double Stuf Oreos to give students a delicious education about tectonic plates. This is the best teacher ever! Teaching geology with not only Oreos, but with Double Stuf Oreos! What an ingenious way to teach young minds about planar fractures. This interactive teaching lesson provides a fun learning experience that a child will remember.

PUT YOUR COOKIES DOWN IMMEDIATELY.

THE FUN POLICE ARE HERE.

A mother of one of the students had to sign a permission slip for her kid to be allowed to eat an Oreo. No really. An Oreo cookie.

On the Twitter account of Main Line Housewife, she posted a photo of the ridiculous permission slip and wrote the following:

Insanity. I have to sign a permission slip so my middle schooler can eat an Oreo.


The crazy thing is that I don’t blame the teacher or the school for taking the necessary precautions to ask before serving a harmless cookie. Because unfortunately we are an extremely money-hungry, litigious society and all is takes is one outraged parent to say their son or daughter has an allergy or that the one cookie contributed to their child’s diabetes and all of the sudden the school district is facing a very exorbitant lawsuit.

Now I completely understand the health consequences of sugary foods. And I also realize that in 2012, more than one third of children and adolescents were overweight or obese. However it’s one cookie. That’s 70 calories, 3.5 grams of fat and 6.5 grams of sugar. Not exactly going to send anyone into diabetic shock, especially middle school kids with the metabolism of hummingbirds.

This isn’t even about the sugary cookie. The teacher would need to take the same safeguards if they were serving the kids a bushel of kale. If one kid is allergic to that leafy superfood it would be a huge predicament.

So be grateful that you can eat your own cookies whenever your fat heart desires and make sure to hug your Oreos a little bit tighter tonight.

[Main Line Housewife via BC]


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