Pastor Speaks At High School Graduation And Casually Tells Gay Students They’re Going To Burn In Hell

“Follow your dreams,” “find your passion,” and “all gays are going to burn in hell” are all cliché, tired graduation speaker phrases. Well, the last one is a little, uh, unique.

Pastor Scott Carpenter was invited to give the baccalaureate address at North Carolina’s Kings Mountain High School last week. Carpenter figured it would be the perfect setting to make everything realllll awkward. Instead of going the funny, inspirational route, Carpenter (probably drunk) went on a tirade about how all gay students in the hallway will burn in hell.

Obviously, people were pissed, but the pastor stood by his words when speaking with WBTV, stating he simply “did what he had to do as a Christian minister.”

“Nobody got bashed or anything. All I did was simply speak biblical truth. Do I hate anybody? Absolutely not. I just love them too much not to tell them the truth.”

Damn, I never realized God was such a dick. Like dude, aren’t we all supposed to be your children or something (Corinthians 3:28, don’t check that though). That means an estimates 8 million people in the United States alone are going to scorch in the fiery depths of hell. That’s cold, God. Or really fucking hot. And you know it has to be true if Pastor Scott Carpenter from bumfuck North Carolina said it. Guy seems like a straight shooter.

P.S. Budget must be tight at King’s Mountain High School if the highest profile name they can acquire for their grad ceremony is this dicktooth. Maybe go with someone like Neil Patrick Harris next year.

[H/T Unilad]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.