Philadelphia’s ‘Instant Gratification’ Run Sounds Perfect For Fat, Lazy Bros — Meaning ‘All Of Us’

The City of Brotherly Lard (it’s the 14th fattest city in the US according to Men’s Fitness) will host the world’s shortest race in February.

It’s called the Philly 0.0 Instant Gratification Run. Here’s how it works

Just like every other run, there will be the pre-race packet pick up where you get your bib, shirt etc.  There will be an official start, outside of Xfinity Live, along with a simulations finish.  Participants can then make their way inside Xfinity Live for the best post-race party ever!

Entrance fee includes a pass to Xfinity Live (no cover charge for participants), long sleeve event shirt, Custom event bib (will also serve and meal/bear tickets), 1 Free Beer, Choice of 1 of 3 food options. night long entertainment including live band and DJ, additional drink specials, chance to win various prizes.

There will be a race winner because people have to be competitive — even in pretend races. So how does one win this race? It’s all luck. The men’s and women’s winners are chosen by lottery.

As Deadspin points out, there’s actually an even lazier option than “showing up to walk a foot and drink all night” and it’s called the “virtual participant” option. A shirt and other stuff is just mailed to you house.

The Philly 0.0 Instant Gratification Run is basically all the best parts of a race without the actual race. All proceeds will go to therapy sessions for Philadelphia Eagles fans.

[H/T: Deadspin]