Shutterstock
Ever wondered what it’d be like to be a phone sex operator? Probably not, but one woman recently described it and as one could guess, it’s pretty freaking weird.
Before we begin though, was anyone else aware that phone sex lines were still actually a thing? I guess I must not be staying up late enough and/or watching the wrong TV shows. But I digress.
Anyway, like I said, they do still exist, and one 32-year-old woman who goes by the name of Sarah (she even has her own Twitter account), recently described her job and life to VICE.
Here are some of the highlights…
How lucrative is it?
It’s definitely a pay cut. Over the past three years in just four accounts, I’ve made about $43,000 (and I could probably factor in a couple other accounts). You can set up your own 1-800 number. I’ve thought about doing that. The complication is that somebody calls the 1-800 number, and you go into payment taking mode—taking their name, credit card number, billing information, and then you switch into the naughty stuff once you’re officially on the clock. I don’t like that switch. I’d rather something else do that and I just talk, so that fee is helpful. It’s a little less administration.Who are your typical clients?
There’s a mix. There’s older gentlemen—they probably grew up with phone sex and are very familiar with phone sex. That’s the market that has expendable income; they have money to throw at stuff. That’s at least 50 percent of it.Do women call?
I had one woman call, but it was weird and didn’t last very long. But couples are awesome. There’s a bunch of dynamics that can happen with that, but that’s really hot.What are the most common scenarios you get?
It depends on what you’re listed as specializing in. I do well with the barely legal/schoolgirl category. Role-play nerds are my specialty. I did an hour-long role-play about Batman and Catwoman. Maybe I’ve seen the movies, I watched the cartoon as a kid. Apparently that was enough to do a convincing hour-long role-play.What was your most unusual request?
I’ve only had it once. Apparently he makes the rounds on the circuit. There’s a guy who wants to be a turkey and not only that, he wants to be your Thanksgiving dinner.Did you go with it?
Oh yeah. Totally. You know, you’re basting him, putting the butter on. And I don’t cook, so I’m pulling this shit out of my ass! It’s literally—can I get five more minutes out of this? OK, cranberry sauce! You’re just totally running with it.Have any requests ever made you truly feel grossed out?
All the time. There are a lot of guys who are dark deviants. When you get the guy calling you asking you to be his 12-year-old daughter, no, fuck you. And hang up. But the number of times that happens is really disconcerting. It’s like 10 percent of the calls. It does skew your perception of humanity. Guys will push it. You have to be firm. At first you think I’ll do whatever the customer wants because what if I get a bad review? Eventually, you’re like fuck it. What’s one bad review for the 50 great ones I’ve got?Have you ever had a guy want to turn it into something more?
Yeah, that’s a complication. I’ve had a couple where it’s a really good client and you really connect with them, know their birthday, know a lot of information—it’s an honest connection. But they’re still paying for you. You can’t let it go beyond that. Because as soon as it turns into calling you and chatting, they’ll never pay to call you again.
Amazing.
Check out the rest of her interview including, among many other things, the all-important question (at least to me), “Why does phone sex still exist in the era of the web cam?” over at VICE.
H/T FHM