Authorities are in steamy hot pursuit of the thief that nabbed a big ol’ inflatable shit statue that was set up to discourage the local citizens from allowing their dogs to shit all over the cobblestone. I just want to say this before we dive into the details of what some are calling the CRIME OF THE CENTURY (it’s only me saying that, let’s be honest here)…Bro, if you stole this ginormous inflatable turd from Spain’s Torrelodones town square last week then you need to turn yourself in, because that’s not cool. And if you know the thief that stole away with this inflatable shit statue then you need to speak up, because justice must be served.
Spain’s The Local reports:
The blow-up sculpture, which is three metres wide and over two metres high, was installed in the town square of Torrelodones last month to serve as a reminder to pet-owners to clean up after their pooches.
But at the weekend the inflatable excrement went missing.
“A public awareness campaign launched by Torrelodones council in the hope of making residents collect dog excrement has achieved its greatest success,” joked a spokesman for the town hall.
“Because even the inflatable representing a giant turd has been ‘cleaned up’.”
But town authorities confirmed that they would continue the campaign undeterred at the loss of the €2,416 sculpture.
“Despite this disappearance we will restart the campaign next week once the company that designed the inflatable provides a new one,” they said.
The inflatable had been accompanied by the sign: “This is one of the greatest obstacles to community spirit in our town. If you own a dog, please help us.”
Authorities in the town of 22,000 residents in the foothills of the Sierra Norte just 25 km northwest of the capital claim that council services have to rid the streets of up to half a ton of faeces left by irresponsible dog owners each day.
This is the aforementioned statue, the missing statue that’s led to a worldwide manhunt for the doody thief:
Just a couple things here:
1) The town spent $2,752 (€2,416) on a statue of shit. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just let me shit in a bucket for them and let that poopy log bake in the sun until it fossilized? I’d have easily sold them my leftover shit for like fifty bucks + shipping.
2) How on God’s green earth are there so many dogs in a town with just 22,000 that the city is picking up one half ton of shit every day. That’s a full 1,000 pounds of dog shit they’re claiming they have to scoop up every goddamn day, or 365,000-pounds of dog crap each year. How are the town’s people okay with living in a place surrounded by hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of dog feces.
3) If you’re the thief you need to turn yourself in because it’s not cool to steal another man’s shit statue.
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For more on this developing story you can click on over to THE LOCAL.