8 Porn Parodies That We Demand The Porn Industry To Produce RIGHT NOW

by 2 years ago

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Porn is essential to being a bro, doing the five knuckle shuffle several times a day has shown to lower your risk of several different diseases and give you sick fore arm strength. As technology has gotten better so has the types of porn we are able to get for free on our phones. But, the industry can do more. We’re tired of porn parodies of big budget blockbusters, the Avenge-hers and Pirates just aren’t cutting it while we’re rubbing it. This is why we, as bros, need to stand together in a circle jerk of solidarity, we want for from you porn industry. We want cult porn parodies, shows and movies that we loved need to get turned into filthy cum swapping sessions so we can continue our war against socks, tissues and toilets. We want to drop loads, and here are some ideas on how you can help us do it.

Whoreange is the New Black
Orange is the New Black is almost porn as is, but a porn parody would be better. The plot would be: when Pensultuky accidentally ruins all the uniforms for the inmates, they’re forced to walk around naked more often than they already do. This turns out to be amazing because instead of plotting against each other the women are too busy trying to dig out each others oyster ditches. The entire porno ends with an American History X style shower scene that leaves Ruby Rose dead and a cliff hanger for a sequel.

Boys with the Hood– Dough Boy and his half brother Ricky Bake-her show the problems of living in south central when you’re uncircumcised. They sling rock and start being pimps in an effort to raise enough money to finally get cut like the rest of the world. This leads them into banging strawberries in crack dens and female store clerks offering themselves up so they don’t get shot in robberies. Violence is amiss as women they force into prostitution constantly refuse to give them their 20% and they both keep their pimp hands strong.

Malcolm in the Diddle– When the actual Frankie Muniz gets tired of life as a mediocre drummer he tries to make a triumphant return to TV stardom. This reality porn parody documents as Frankie gets pegged and banged by every single producer male and female in the industry, leaving him a burnt out husk of a human being. As soon as he gives up on his life is when he comes to the realization that he is destined for porn stardom because that’s all it takes to do porn. Now that he’s completely given up hope and his brains, Frankie becomes the most requested male porn actor in the industry.

Grandma’s Boys– When a broke and failing erotic video game designer moves back in with his grandma he’s forced to find out she has an insanely active sex life. He introduces her to the joys of weed and erotic videogames, and she constantly feeds him fellow elderly women’s grand daughters. In the end he designs a video game about his experiences with his Grandma and becomes a billionaire game designer in Silicone valley.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turdles– Four German turtles end up crawling through mysterious ooze, it turns out to be jizz from people who escaped the Chernobyl disaster. Flash forward eighteen years and they’re all now working in strange German sex dungeons. German shit fetishists come from far and wide to have the Turdles take massive dumps on their chests and women come from all over eastern Europe to see what its like to get a dicking by turtles. Unfortunately all of this is thrown off when the Foot Clan opens a foot fetish dungeon nearby and tries to move in on the Turdles territory. It culminates with the Shredder who turns out to be an Asian chick, getting shredded by the turtles all at once.

Breakable Kimmy Schmidt– When Kimmy is finally released from the bunker, she goes out looking to make up for all those years she’s lost. Since she hasn’t been in the world since the 90’s she quickly finds herself in Williamsburg Brooklyn where awkward 90’s nosalgic hipsters find her irresitable. Although she’s been strong in the bunker for years, Kimmy soon finds she’s completely breakable and loves it. The conclusion in this porn is Kimmy getting banged by Pete and Pete at the same time, while Frankie Muniz takes it in the butt by The Strongest Man In The World in the back ground.

Diners, Drive Ins and Muff Dives– Guy Fieri is back with another whole new series for middle aged people who are unsatisfied with their entire lives. Diners Drive Ins and Muff Dives takes Guy Fieri all over America to some of the worst brothels and streets corrupted with prostitution. He talks to local johns and crack heads to find out where the best local muffs for hire are and takes them for a turn. Then he talks about their taste and texture and recommends the best ones to those watching at home. Occasionally he enters an eating contest in the hopes that a prostitute will tattoo his name on herself in a trashy script in someplace the entire world will judge her for.

Whose Eating Gilbert Grape?– Gilbert Grape sits alone in a dark room trying to figure out whose going down on him.

The Porno world now has the ability to give us our most beloved characters genitals. The characters that once captured our imaginations can now capture our loads. Its a strange world we live in everyone, a strange and wonderful world where The Never Ending Story can now be The Never Ending Horny. So, Porno companies…step your game up.


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