Look, I get it. Making fun of the British is one of the most important things a member of society can do.
“Ahy lookie me I’m primer and proper.”
Fuck that. A sandwich is not a slice of cucumber and some crustless bread. That’s … there isn’t even a word for what that shit is. Wait, yes there is. Wack. It’s wack.
But no matter how much you think the British are a bunch of loser dorks (and they are), you don’t touch the Queen’s Guard at Windsor Castle. You fucking don’t. Have some damn respect.
Would you touch a member of the Secret Service? No.
So don’t touch these guys. No matter how lame they look.