Ever jerked off to your neighbor having sex? Me neither. Of course, that’s mostly because I don’t have a dick, so it’s physically impossible for me do to that. Reddit user PM_ME_VAGETABLES, on the other hand, certainly has…or at least he thought he had.
“Last night I crawled into bed and was having trouble falling asleep, I was just laying there staring at the ceiling trying to calm my internal chatter when I hear a slight rhythmic squeaking coming from my smokin hot female neighbor’s room above mine. Knowing that she occasionally has male visitors over, which I have enjoyed hearing her groan from before, I started listening more intently. After a bit I hear some very slight moaning accompanying the steady squeak.
Living in an apartment with paper thin walls, I knew that she was the only home and surmised that she was in fact masturbating. Hot! So I start to get turned on and proceed to give me self a tug. She never really wavers in intensity, just staying quiet yet mostly even, rhythmically.
I’m fantasizing seeing her fingering herself and moaning while I lead myself to orgasm and finish feeling rather satisfied. I lay there in post ejaculate comfort and note that she’s still going, still the same steady rhythm. Mmmm I’m loving this still! So I lay there listening for a bit, close my eyes and try to sleep once more.After a little while I hear her get up and go to the kitchen. But… I still hear the squeaking and the moaning….While she’s in the other room.
I open my eyes with confusion and for the first time note that the sounds aren’t all coming from directly above me, the squeaking is, but the moaning sounds like it might be coming through my open bedroom door in fact….
So I get up and creep out slowly from my bedroom to find the source of the ‘moaning’. As I walk out of my room the sound gets a bit louder and more localized and…familiar….I then finally notice that this moaning is actually my cat, lying on the couch fast asleep, snoring.
After a moment realizing my idiocy I go back to bed and also note that I’ve heard the squeaking before, on other hot nights such as this: a rotary fan in her bedroom.TL;DR I jerked off to my cat snoring”
Doesn’t matter had sex…
…with your hand.
[H/T Reddit]
[Image via Shutterstock]