Lawyers Release Video Of Robert Durst Pissing On A CVS Candy Display, Because That’s How Triple Murderers Roll

Just when you thought the Robert Durst saga couldn’t get any more entertaining, he pisses all over the Skittles at a Houston CVS counter. The dude was savvy enough to get away with three murders but dumb enough to get arrested stealing a sandwich from a grocery store, admit to murdering three people on television, and now take a whiz on the candy display at CVS. Why? Because that’s what a guy does who kills his two lovers and chops up the body of a friend and puts it in trash bags.

The Harris County District Attorney’s Office released the surveillance footage from July 2014 that captures Durst pick up a prescription and wander around the store aimlessly before whipping out his murdering willy and taking a nice long leak at the registers. The video shows another customer realize what Durst is doing and simply just move to a different register. That dude is counting his blessings right now because if he said a peep, he’d be chopped up like a garlic clove. Durst then leaves without saying a word.

Chip Lewis (that would be the name of Durst’s lawyer. Fucking Chip.) claims that Durst was just released from the hospital and was sick. He told KPRC,

“This was a medical mishap, plain and simple. He had to go and he couldn’t hold it. He patronized that store quite often and was very friendly and very well liked by all the staff. He was embarrassed in that aspect. The people that were so good to him were put, themselves, in an embarrassing situation.”

Fuck off, Chip.

Durst eventually turned himself into the police and pled no contest to a misdemeanor criminal mischief charge, paying a $500 fine and $7,000 in damages to CVS. At the moment, he is sitting in jail in New Orleans for a gun charge while he awaits his trial for the murder of his friend, Susan Berman.

If this savage is ever released from jail I’ll lock myself in my basement with a gun strapped to my chest. It will just be a matter of time before he comes for you, too.

[H/T Gawker]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.