Real Scientific Study Concludes Women Who Like Sex Have Sex Because They Like Sex
A new study that was conducted by a publicly-funded organization dedicated to advancing human knowledge has determined that women who like sex like sex.
GADZOOKS. The study was conducted in Germany and tackled the problematic problem of female hypersexuality. (I thought we solved this with chastity belts ages ago. What ever happened to those?)
A hypersexual person is characterized by having a need to have sex so frequently that it can be considered problematic. You know, like during a business meeting, or at the gym or during a trip with her kids to the aquarium.
Previously, it was thought that hypersexual women attended to their urges with fantasies. But now, they tame the problem by watching porn.
Women who have sex so frequently that it may cause them problems — sometimes referred to as being “hypersexual” — seem to be characterized more by their high rates of masturbation and pornography use, rather than passive forms of sexual behavior, such as having fantasies, as previous studies had suggested.
Is that because pornography has become more mainstream these days? Probably not. Women should still be jerking off to the Bible. But here’s the goddamn kicker to this all.
“The results of the current study do not support the idea of previous research that hypersexual women are typically engaged in more passive forms of sexual behavior, and contradict the assumption that hypersexual women only use sexual behavior to control and influence interpersonal relationships,” the researchers wrote in the study.
What? So we’ve FINALLY concluded that women who like sex have sex for sex and aren’t like… trying to kill men with their claw vajays each time they do it?
Glad we cleared that up.
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