I think I speak for all men when I say that the thought of our significant other being penetrated by her friend Chad who she met at the gym is as haunting as seeing your grandmother naked. After all, you’re the one whose put all the leg work into the relationship–watching Downton Abbey, eating sushi for dinner, constantly holding in your farts, and pretending to be someone else in front of her parents. That shit is hard work, and for Chad to come in with his frosted tips and vape pen and reap all the benefits is not only unfair, it’s unacceptable.
The sad reality of it all is that cheaters are going to cheat, and there is very little you and your micropenis can do to stop it. Well, that’s not entirely true.
A new study claims that the more frequently a woman fakes an orgasm, the more likely she is to be unfaithful.
According to Daily Mail, researchers recruited a group of 138 female and 121 male college students who were involved in heterosexual relationships. The women were quizzed on how intense and frequent their orgasms were, and the men were asked about how often they thought their girlfriends reached orgasm. All participants were asked if they ever cheated on their partner and the likelihood they would cheat in the future.
Authors of the Human Female Orgasm As Evolved Signal study wrote: ‘Faked orgasm was associated with female sexual infidelity and lower male relationship satisfaction.’
Although there was a correlation between women faking orgasms and infertility, there is a silver lining in that there was no link between women who had fewer orgasms cheating more. So sucking at sex isn’t necessarily an indicator that your girl is going to bang Chad, it’s just if she’s not having fun but pretending she is. Moral of story: It may be beneficial for your girl to fall asleep while you’re thrusting uninspired above her.
[h/t Daily Mail]