Look down at your scrotum, then look back up at this.
Now look down at your scrotum again and tell me what you see.
Did you see a pristine carrying case for your testicles? Or did you see a wad of chewed gum that brings shame to your family name? If what you saw was a fuckin’ disgrace, then I’m here to grab your hand, have you gaze deep into my godless eyes, and tell you there’s hope, friend. Real, tangible hope.
Introducing Scrotum Botox, AKA SCROTOX! It’s here to wash away all your scrotal problems. Provided your scrotal problems are limited to just a shitty looking scrotum. If you have sores and boils and other shit down there, then try killing it with fire.
Per Metro:
Mark Norfolk, Clinical Director at Transform tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Over the past year, requests for scrotum Botox have doubled at Transform showing the huge demand and interest for this procedure.’
Wirth Plastic Surgery says that ‘many cyclists and runners love getting the Botox in this area to relieve them from skin irritations caused from excess sweating and rubbing…it’s just as important as facial rejuvenation.’
However, Mark stresses that anyone who is contemplating having it done needs to do thorough research into both the practitioner and the product they plan on using.
‘Also, patients should manage their expectations in terms of results, it could prove very costly and nervy racking to go through, for very little in return,’ he says.
The numerous benefits to Scotox:
1. Decreased sweating
2. Reduced wrinkles
3. Makes the scrotum appear larger due to muscles relaxing
4. Makes the panties of the opposite sex extra moist
5. Increased odds that your testicles look more like TruckNutz than actual human nuts.
6. Gone are the days of snagging your saggy scrote in a hair trimmer, but grooming is now a breeze
And so on…
[H/T Metro]