This Sinking Kayaker Isn’t Someone You Want On Your Team During An Emergency

By 08.13.14

Screen Shot 2014-08-13 at 10.17.50 AM

This Macaulay Culkin look alike seems like he’s regretting getting in this kayak. Not sure what gives me that impression, just a hunch, I suppose. Side note – I just realized what a dumb name Macaulay is. Who names someone Macaulay? Apologies to all the Macaulays reading this.

Dude, I hate to break it to you, but Sarah is useless to you right now. This is good training for life. We all think we can rely on Sarah, but when it’s really starting to go down, Sarah’s just gonna flip on the camera and laugh in your face.

I’m sure you’re all gonna make fun of this dude, but I must admit, I would probably be just as big of a vag. I hate kayaking, and I hate marshes, and there is far too much unseen wildlife in a marsh for me to casually tread water without an intense sense of fear. I’ve seen Lake Placid too many times to be able to hang out in a creepy marsh without so much as a spear or machete to ward off gargantuan mutant crocodiles.

I kinda wish that a big croc came along and gobbled him up whole. Sarah would feel like such a jerk. Would make for an even funnier video.


TAGSFearkayakingnot bro

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