COMMENCE UNDELICIOUS PANIC: Sriracha Factory Could Be Shutdown
The federal government shutdown was stupid. This has real consequences. Real people will be affected. Sriracha is more integral to America than baseball. Red Sox-Cardinals? Give me Sriracha-Thai Takeout any day. But now, there may be no more Sriracha, as the city it's produced in is suing over fumes. Via NPR:
Complaints from nearby residents about “burning eyes, irritated throats and headaches” have led the city of Irwindale, Calif., to ask a judge to order the company that makes Sriracha hot sauce to suspend production.
The comapny just opened a new facility there which churn out 7,500 bottles an hour (also known as still not enough). But residents (read: fucking assholes) are taking offense to the new bottling plant. Fuck them. Because according to Sriracha's bottle, it can be used on “soups, sauces, pasta, pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers, chow mein or anything.”
Here are a list of the following foods that would now suck if Sriracha were eliminated as a condiment: soups, sauces, pasta, pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers, chow mein and EVERYTHING. Ever had pho? How the fuck are you supposed to have pho without Sriracha. We need Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell and maybe a team of FBI crisis negotiators to fly to California and stop this. Like, now.