Remember when you were a kid and didn’t know shit about sex? Maybe you thought girls would get pregnant if you open-mouthed kissed them for more than five minutes. Maybe you thought girls got pregnant from you peeing in them. Maybe you thought girls could get pregnant from butt stuff. Maybe you thought girls got pregnant the moment they get married. Kiran David told the funny story of how he got his girlfriend pregnant in 7th grade without having sex.
Kiran remembers when he was 12-years-old and retells the tale of his confusion when his girlfriend told him she was pregnant. The Twitter tale is rather lengthy, but it is delightfully amusing.
BET STORY TIME.
BEFORE YOU JUDGE THIS STORY JUST A QUICK REMINDER….
Romans 3:23
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
Aight so it's 7th grade fam. I've been in America all of 2 years. Im 12. I know nothing.
But I love in Washington. Life is good.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
Mans looked like this so you already know what my life was about. pic.twitter.com/nq0CktTWBU
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
My pops a Pastor. And he West Indian. So sex wasn't even a topic in my house. I knew nothing about it except it was for grown ups.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
Anyways I'm in Junior High. Ugly but I'm fly cuz I got a British accent.
Shawties love accents. I was on the hoop team for aesthetics too.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
So I end up pulling one of the BADDEST girls in 7th grade. She was known for being fine, Hawaiian shawty. Built great. Hair dumb long.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
I'm ugly but I hoop and I'm foreign it's kinda like I'm cute. So we dating. Holding hands in the hallway. Dumb official. Niggas was mad.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
We been dating a couple months. That's long for middle school. So I was thinking we goin the distance.
Life is good.Until one day….
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
I come into Math Class…. Shawty crying. So I go into boyfriend mode
"Who hurt you bae?"She talmbout "I'll tell you later"
I'm like bet.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
School ends and I find her and ask Wassup. She still crying.
I'm real live worried cuz maybe she realized I'm ugly and came to her senses.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
She goes and I quote
"Baby I'm pregnant and idk what I'm gonna do."
BRUH. I FREEZE. What?!
I start shaking mad hard. The world stood still— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
MIND YOU. I'M SCARED to kiss girls so I ain't ever even kissed her. We held hands and that was it.
But I stay in boyfriend mode.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
"Baby don't worry. I gotta catch the bus but I'm here for you. We gonna get thru this."
I run and catch my bus…. What am I telling moms?
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
Get home. And decide to be an adult and HANDLE it.
Mom: how was school?
Me: my girl pregnant
Mom: What??
Me: AND WE KEEPIN IT MOMBRUH
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
Moms looks at me like this pic.twitter.com/4p6RuI3iGg
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
Mom goes: WHEN did you have Sex?
I'm like: What you talking about?
Mom: WHEN did you have Sex?
Me: Idk?! Never?! What you mean?
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
Now moms confused. I'm confused.
Why would she ask me about sex when I'm talking about my girl being pregnant? She just be talking smh
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
I don't have a phone cuz.. West Indian.. So moms calls the principal and sets up a meeting for the morning.
Still confused. But angry.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
I'm pacing around my room tryna figure out where I can work to handle my responsibilities as a father.
I'm not tryna be a dead beat.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
BECAUSE IN MY MIND.
IF THAT'S YA GIRL AND SHE GET PREGNANT. THAT'S YA BABY.
That's what I thought. I was 12. Leave me alone.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
I wake up next morning with a game plan. In the meeting I'ma just step up to the plate. Handle my business and that will be that. I'm 12.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
So we get to school. In the meeting it's:
Me
Mom
My girl
Her mom
The principalI'm ready. I'm like pic.twitter.com/6PMW4OHSnU
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
Everyone nervous so I'm like lemme step up.
I get up and I'm like.. "Aight so here's what's about to happen."
My girl look PETRIFIED
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
I ain't know she ain't tell her moms.
But I continue. I'm like "so Basically WE pregnant. AND WE keeping it."
BRUH. Room went dead.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
Both parents looking at me and my girl like pic.twitter.com/yTrUT5p59l
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
Her mom goes off… "YA PREGNANT?! With HIM? He not even your boyfriend?!"
I'm like "… Wait WHAT"
My mom: WHEN DID YOU HAVE SEX
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
I look at my mom like WHY YOU KEEP ASKING ME THAT.
The room get quiet again and everyone looking at me.
I'm mad cuz the plan failing.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
Principal did NOT sign up for this this morning. She like. pic.twitter.com/CCDQTAufKF
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
So. Mom then REALIZES…. I don't know how sex and pregnancy works.
She proceeds to explain to me that to get pregnant. Sex has to happen.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
I'm dead getting sex ed in front of my girl, her mom and the principal.
Her mom confused, mad, annoyed and laughing all at once.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
I'm dead taking it all in tryna understand what my mom talking about. pic.twitter.com/ANLLCbS9m7
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
WHEN IT CLICKED
THAT I DIDNT GET HER PREGNANT.
And that she in fact… Cheated on me and got pregnant….
I went OFF!!!!!! Man.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
TEARS STARTED COMING DOWN MY FACE.
You don't put no 12 year old through this man. I WENT OFF on everyone man. pic.twitter.com/fURMoG1SOR
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
YOU A HOE TOO. (Me to her mom)
Ya daughter TWELF. TWELF YEAR old and this how ya'll gonna do me?
I don't need thisFull tears now.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
Aaaaaand you. Principal thought it was comedy.
Don't nobody like you, we know you sleeping with the English teacher.
Stormed out the room
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
I didn't get in any trouble. At all. Never spoke about it for the rest of that year. Shawty dead had the baby (baby is gorgeous now)
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
Never spoke to her again. Read up on sex, learned how things go. I became better. Wiser. Learned. Improved. Life lessons. Smh
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016
End of story.
Moral: Ya girl ain't pregnant by you just because she's your girl. Bless up.
— Kiran The Nomad (@KiranTheNomad) May 22, 2016