Someone Lost This List Of ‘Summer 2015 Goals’ And It’s The Most Ambitious Thing We’ve Ever Read

I’m a huge believer in writing down life goals. I’m also a huge proponent of the SMART goal system. Every year at my birthday, I sit down and write a list of attainable goals for the coming year. I break them down into personal/career/self and other areas where my life could use some improvement. I review the goals every week and punch myself in the face if I haven’t done something, ANYTHING, to put myself a step closer to each goal.

Someone in New York is also a fan of goal-setting except their goals are way more fucking exciting than my goals. This list, found by a Gothamist reader in the area of Columbus & 76th Street, is the most ambitious and awesome goal list ever penciled.

In case you can’t read the poor penmanship (maybe better handwriting should have been on the goal list) here’s the entire list:

  • pool hopping
  • crash a wedding
  • meet an athlete
  • go on a tinder date
  • hookup w/ someone in Europe
  • get someone to pay for your food
  • go to pool at soho house
  • go on a rooftop / drink / smoke
  • go out w/ wall street guys
  • get as many free things as possible
  • celebrity events (high profile)
  • art gallery opening
  • rooftop party in brooklyn
  • party in hamptons
  • throw a house party
  •  gay pride parade

Damn it. I’ve been doing it all wrong all these years. I wrote down things this year like “finally fix up my home office” while this person hyper-focused on just the summer of 2015 and jotted down epic shit like “get as many free things as possible.”

But just to save face I’ll say that some of my goals are a little more challenging than some of these goals. For example, “throw a house party.” How fucking hard is that? Unless this person doesn’t have a house.

Goal #1 — get a house.

[via Gothamist]

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Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.