Naked Teen Breaks Into House, Attacks Homeowners, Gets Shot And Proceeds To Masturbate

by 3 years ago

Women like to argue that their sex drive is just as strong as men, and frankly that just isn’t true. In fact, the libido of females isn’t even in the same stratosphere as males. Men are frothing at the dicks to make cumsies and it’s not that they want to be like that, but fucking mother nature put all this poison in us that we just have the overwhelming need to squeeze it out. Take this randy fuckstick for example, he got blasted with a shotgun, was bleeding profusely, and still decided that he needed to masturbate instead of getting medical treatment for his wounds. You don’t see the ladies dedicated to masturbation on this level.

We take you to Warren County, Ohio where a 17-year-old male broke into a house around 10 p.m. on May 9th. One of the homeowners immediately called 911 to report the crime. The woman was on the phone with emergency dispatchers and informed them that the suspect was “probably on something.” She warned the boy to stay away or he will get shot. He did not heed her warning and attempted to grab her neck. That’s when the woman’s husband fired upon the teen with a shotgun. Unfortunately, a shotgun round accidentally flew in the air and struck his wife in the shoulder and eye.

The teen was shot in the back. He then proceeded to run around and even ran directly into walls. The male homeowner went to give the boy some towels to stop the bleeding, and that’s when he found the teen on his front porch jerking off.

Guess we’re going to need more towels.

“When police officers arrived on scene, he was still highly sexualized because when the officer attempted to arrest him, he assaulted the officer in the groin area,” Warren County Prosecutor David Fornshell said.

There’s no quit in this dick.

Officers placed the teen under arrest and was charged with attempted burglary, attempted rape, assault on a police officer and public indecency. The teen and the female homeowner were transported to Bethesda North Hospital, and both are expected to recover.

His father had a perfectly valid reason for his son’s bizarre behavior:

“He just seemed a little off, like he wasn’t really himself. He’s been under a lot of stress lately with graduation and everything.”

Hey I jerk off when I’m stressed out too, just not on some stranger’s porch after being shot with a shotgun. I do it on their porch when they’re not home like a respectable human being.

[Uproxx]


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