What to Do With a Girlfriend That Doesn’t Like Giving Head, Plus the Verdict on Using Emoticons

by 5 years ago

Q: So I'm in grad school now and more interested in having a relationship than spending my weekends trying to hook up with chicks I meet at the bar. I met this really cool chick over the summer (not at a bar), took her on an actual date and we had an instant connection. After mildly hooking up a few times, we eventually had sex (within 2 weeks or 5 times of hanging out – whichever was less). I'm really into this chick but after a few more times of having sex and me going down on her every time – I asked her why she wouldn't go down on me. The answer: she never has, and is “saving the blowjob” for until she's in love. So my question: Is this even a real thing?!?! 

On the one hand it'd be awesome to be that one guy, and it's not like she's leaving me with blueballs – but BJs are probably my favorite thing in the entire world (we'll credit my ex for that), and I can't help but wonder how i'll ever love a girl if she isn't willing to blow me first…..

A: Well, you know what they say—you can’t have your cake and get blown too.

Just kidding, nobody says that….because it's not true.

Saving a bj for marriage??! That is the most ludicrous (and possibly genius) way for a woman to avoid the often-dreaded task of sucking your dick.

I find it VERY hard to believe that through all of her years of high school and college debauchery she f*cked a bunch of dudes but never once gave head. My guess is that she probably had a bad experience during her early years of sexual exploration (a la premature ejaculation in the eye– That sh*t would scar you for life) and is fearful of revisiting it. Perhaps she'll come around, and my gut tells me that she will. Still, It doesn't make her excuse any less absurd. Or genius.

Q: So, I’m a sophomore in college, I party every weekend at the Frat house, hook up with excessive amounts of girls, but here is the kicker- I am still a virgin. Mostly because of the whole, I want to care about the first girl thing. So a few parts to this, is it weird that I’m a virgin sophomore? Should I just forget the feelings and have sex already?

What is a bro to do?

A: If you're as much of a p*ssy slaying frat star as you claim to be, then yeah it is a little weird that you've yet to remove your chastity belt. If you're waiting because you truly “want to care”..(I'm having my doubts) then start hooking up with *one* girl exclusively until you like her enough to pull your v card out of that deck of jokers.

If you wait it out too long, you’re gonna be the guy who waits until marriage; and NOBODY wants to marry the guy who waits until he's married. In short, don’t f*ck yourself over– Get f*cked.

Write that down.

Q: A fellow bro of mine suggested I try a night out without my eyeglasses but I feel like I look fine if not better with them on. I get my fair share of hook ups with them on but have also gotten lucky on the nights where my friends suggested I leave the eye glasses at home. So, what's a babe's input on the glasses or no glasses debate for a night out? Does the thought of a bro with glasses turn a girl off or is it more based on if I look good in them or not?

A: Oh contraire, studious bro. If ever there was a time to wear your glasses out, it’s now. You can thank the hipsters in Brooklyn for making “nerd chic” a real thing– so stash your contact lenses and play it up while you still can. And it doesn’t hurt to have a high end name attached to them. How else  are you going to differentiate yourself from the sea of button downs and Topsiders? “Who's the guy with the glasses?—I feel like he’s like, really smart.” Go get em, four eyes.

Q: As a firm believer in not sending any sort of smiley face/emoticon in a text to a girl, I was wondering how the girl thought about receiving them? The thought of sending them brings along the feeling of my manhood falling off as well.

A: OMG, u mean emojis? ; )

They’re f*cking gay. Text me a winky face and it’ll be your last.

That does it for this week. Submit your Ask a Babe questions here.

TAGSask a babeDatingemoticonsRelationship adviceSex

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