This Snake Has Forgotten How To Snake And Is Making Snakes Everywhere Look Stupid

by 2 years ago  •  2 Comments

The black mamba is supposed to be one of the deadliest, fastest, most venomous snakes in the world. However, the black mamba in this video is nothing more than the village idiot. This snake’s so awful at being a snake that it’s giving snakes everywhere a bad name.

What is a snake if it can’t even slither? This snake’s snake mind has become so addled that it’s completely forgotten what it is that snakes do: they slither. What they don’t do is wiggle in place in the middle of a manmade road. That’s not snake behavior. That is not behavior befitting of a black mamba.

Just look at this stupid black mamba in GIF, and get angry with me at how this snake’s besmirching the good name of snakes worldwide…He’s even managing to slither BACKWARDS, as if he’s laughing in the face of millions of years of evolution:

Listen, snake bro, we all love warm weather. Maybe what you’re trying to do is warm your black mamba belly on that black pavement, but that’s not snake behavior. If a warm snake belly is what you’re after then you should retreat to your native desert of sub-Saharan Africa. That’s where you should b be snaking, not in the middle of this road, and not looking like a goddamn fool.

There’s no telling where that snake finally slithered off to, or what caused his snake senses to jump back into place. I can only hope that he’s out there taking down bats and stuff, regaining his great snake name….


TAGSAfricaAnimalsBlack MambaoutdoorssnakeSnakes

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