This Toddler Bro Hitting The Gym To Impress Girls Is Wise Beyond His Years

Don’t stop little bro. Strike while the iron’s hot. Push for one more rep before you become jaded by life and fully succumb to the dad bod lifestyle. You probably have 15-20 more years of a cooperative metabolism and the ability to play a casual game of HORSE without tearing an ACL–cherish it. Because when you get to be 28 like me, instead of becoming healthier to attract chicks, you trash your body with alcohol and hope to be someone’s mistake. It all comes full circle–just like my C cups. But until then, don’t let anyone dim your light. Shine on, playa. Shine on.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.