This Story Of A Woman’s Dildo Malfunctioning In A Crowded Elevator Will Clam You Right Up

by 3 years ago

If you’re going to cram your dildo into your bag then squeeze into an extremely crowded elevator full of your colleagues at a business conference, it’s probably best to pop out the batteries first.

That statement above is one of those ‘hindsight is 20-20’ statements, and this lady unfortunately did not have the foresight to pop out the batteries before she claims to have eternally embarrassed herself in front of her peers.

As a team, we often post the ‘TIFU’ (today I f*cked up) stories from Reddit here on BroBible. But this is the first one I’ve felt obliged to personally share with you because it actually made my skin crawl thinking about just how embarrassed this poor woman must have been…though in my humble opinion I don’t think she should have been embarrassed at all, she should have just owned it.

From Reddit’s TIFU:

TL;DR Accidentally turned on my vibrator in a crowded elevator with new colleagues and everyone knew it.

Tried to post a few weeks ago but didnt realize the weekend rule….I’ve been a lurker for a few months now and at the urging of my husband had to finally at least create a throwaway account today because I really fucked up. I’ve spent the last three days at a conference for high level professionals in my field. It’s a big deal to go to this conference and there’s a lot of pressure to look good in front of your colleagues and counterparts at similar firms as it’s a great place to network and find opportunities for advancement.

My husband and I arrived a day early to check into a nearby B&B and spend some serious alone time away from the kids and multiple rounds of sex and experimenting were definitely on the agenda for the 24 hours prior to the conference. It was an opportunity to let loose and try out some new toys and things we’d heard about. In preparation for the trip, we packed lots of lube, straps for tying one another down, scarves to tie or blindfold one another and a sizeable vibrating, lifelike dildo. Needless to say, I had a ton of fun before the conference and blew off quite a bit of steam. At the beginning of the conference on Monday, my husband had to head back home and we agreed that I would keep the toy bag (a nondescript black duffle bag) in case I got lonely or stressed during my trip. Wanting to draw distinct lines between business and pleasure, I checked into the actual hotel where the conference was being held after my husband left and dragged in all of my luggage including my toy bag into the hotel with no incident until checkout this morning.

Overall, the week conference was great! I met great people, networked, found a ton of new contacts in my profession and even got upgraded to the top floor of the hotel into one of the nicer rooms for preferred guests by a pure stroke of luck. Fast forward to this morning at checkout and I packed all of my bags this morning and lugged everything back out to the elevator. There were a large group of people waiting for the elevator at the top floor all colleagues at the conference. When the elevator arrived, we all shuffled in, barely fitting and just as the doors closed, my toy bag dropped off my shoulder and to the floor. Some shifting must have happened inside because at that same moment, a loud, powerful buzz emanated from the bag. At first, I reached for my pocket thinking my phone was on vibrate but quickly realized in horror that my giant fake dick was on the highest vibrate setting and was buzzing inside the bad so loudly that everyone could hear it. The elevator was crowded enough I couldn’t bend down to reach the bag and even if I had been able to I don’t think it would have looked good grabbing a lifelike dildo from my bag in front of my new colleagues. Instead, I endured 6, painful floors of buzzing descent, crossing my fingers, and praying no one noticed or knew what was inside my bag. All hopes were dashed at the lobby as we exited the elevator and I got a number of knowing looks and even a wink from one gentleman. I rushed to the bathroom and in privacy, finally ripped out the batteries from the device, but at that point, the mortification and damage had already been done.

TL;DR Accidentally turned on my vibrator in a crowded elevator with new colleagues and everyone knew it.

Well, here’s to hoping she either gets a promotion for being a brave soul and owning her embarrassing episode, or she transfers to a new division and blocks it out of her memory forever if it was truly as scarring as she claims it to be.

What I wouldn’t give to have been in that elevator and seen everyone’s face turn red……

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TAGSdildoembarrassing storiesFailRedditTIFUvibratorWTF

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