TRAFFIC FIGHT! Two Dudes Go HAM On Each Other With An Aluminum Bat And Large Pole At Stop Light

https://twitter.com/NoelDeric/status/691690419764133888

This proves once and for all that size doesn’t matter, it’s how you use it. The dude with the goddamn flag pole simply doesn’t cannot generate enough torque for the jackrabbit with the Louisville Slugger–ultimately resulting in a good, ol’ fashioned Texas ass-pounding.

I would call these dudes lunatics but I’ve honestly envisioned squeezing the life out of an old lady who’s driving 50 in the left lane. It’s completely irrational, but I cannot fight instinct. You want to take 30 extra seconds out of my day so you can dick around behind the wheel, you best be ready to meet your Maker. Or just get passive-aggressively honked at while I refuse to make eye contact.

[h/t Jalopnik]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.