It Turns Out Bill Clinton Went Down on Monica Lewinsky
Vanity Fair’s much-anticipated interview of Monica Lewinsky dropped today and HOLY SHIT, do we not give a shit. Like I know they are making a Jem and the Holograms movie and slap braclets are an ironic, cool thing to have at parties these days, but I draw my 90s-nostalgia line at rehashing the mildly salacious details of a tepid and infrequent affair that occurred in 1996.
(Wait, what’s that? I already wrote the headline? And it talks about… Can I change it? No? Okay.)
Monica Lewinsky’s much anticipated tell-all came out today in Vanity Fair and HOLY SHIT does she tell some narrative-altering truths about the biggest sex scandal of the 20th century. Among those: Bill Clinton helped her get hers.
I know. You thought the whole deal was that he stuck a cigar in her cooter, let her blow him and sent her on her merry way to… does anyone know what Monica Lewinsky did back then at 1600 Pennsylvania? No? Whatever. Set Hootsuite.
But that’s not the case. Because in this VANITY FAIR EXCLUSIVE, Monica says Bill Clinton “reciprocated.”
RECIPROCATED. That could mean anything. Actually, it could mean two things. He finga banged her, or he went down on her. In my experience, when girls say reciprocated, they mean oral sex.
Bill Clinton. Box muncher.