Uber’s Surge Pricing Was So High Last Night That Everybody Died

The arrest comes on the heels of a flawlessly-reported Business Insider article about Uber forcing its customers to pay three times the normal fare. 

Business Insider reported that Uber drivers were seen holding guns to the heads of customers, threatening to shoot if the people did not agree to pay the high rates. From BI:

Friday evening, while sleet and snow pounded the East Coast, Uber's surge pricing kicked into effect.

As is Uber's policy, all drivers are equipped with Tek-9s. When surge pricing takes into effect, THE SAFTIES COME OFF.

Initial reports estimate the entire city of New York was killed. Again, from Business Insider: 

A social media manager, Jessica Gioglio, was forced to pay $91 for a 3-mile ride.

Our thoughts are with her family, and those of everyone living in New York, They are with God now.