Yogurt is all the rage these days. There’s Greek Yogurt and … … well, that’s actually the only varietal of yogurt I know of. But that’s supposed to be good for you. It’s got probiotics and shit, and science has yet to prove those aren’t bad for you, so it’s gotta be good, right? Sure.
But Greek Yogurt comes from Greekland and that’s not jiving with America’s love of all things locavore these days. Wasting fossil fuels an’ shit just to get that stuff from the Adriatic Sea to the stomach of hungry women everywhere? Stupid.
What could be improved upon? Yogurt could be fermented as close as possible to the person who consumes it. That would help. What’s closer than the vagina of the person who wants the yogurt–I’m just gonna pause right now and get serious for a second and tell you to stop reading if you don’t want to read about a woman who made yogurt by using cultures from inside her vagina then ate it. From Motherboard:
Her first batch of yogurt tasted sour, tangy, and almost tingly on the tongue. She compared it to Indian yogurt, and ate it with some blueberries.
Nope. The her in reference here is Cecilia Westbrook, an MD/PhD student at the University of Wisconsin, who knew that her vagina had the same kinda shit in it people use to make cheese.
Every vagina is home to hundreds of different types of bacteria and organisms. These organisms—collectively known as the vaginal community—produce lactic acid, hydrogen peroxide, and other substances that keep the vagina healthy. The dominant bacteria is called lactobacillus, which also happens to be what people sometimes use to culture milk, cheese, and yogurt.
How do you get the shit inside your vagina outside your vagina? With a wooden spoon? With a wooden spoon.
The “collection method” was done with a wooden spoon. She set up a positive control (made with actual yogurt as the starter culture) and a negative control (plain milk with nothing added), and combined her own home-made ingredient to the third batch of yogurt. Left overnight, the magic of biology created a respectably-sized bowl.
Okay but is it a good idea FUCK NO IT IS NOT.
According to [Larry Forney, a microbiologist at the University of Idaho], “When you take vaginal secretions, you’re not just taking the lactobacilli. You’re taking everything.” And it’s possible that, from day to day, or woman to woman, “what you’re using in your yogurt is no longer dominated by lactobacilli but other bacteria, some of which could be pathogenic,” he explained.
Sometimes this imbalance can cause yeast infections and other unpleasant nether times. You wouldn’t want those organisms ending up in your breakfast. Even a healthy vagina hosts organisms that could be bad news if cultured, too.
“It’s a bad idea in general.” Forney said.
The government agrees.
According to Theresa Eisenman, press officer at the [FDA’s] Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition, “vaginal secretions are not considered ‘food’,
Yea I coulda told you that.
[H/T NY Mag]