I’m not in the business of generalization. I’m not going to sit here and suggest that all women give a shit about Valentine’s Day, because obviously, as per the title of this article, I’m a woman and I don’t care much for the ‘holiday’ at all.
I’d venture to say most men don’t care either. I mean, I’m sure there are those of you who participate in the senseless act of being forced to declare love once a year, but would you be upset if it didn’t take place? I’m thinking…..no.
In any event, I find that some women simply won’t admit the glaringly obvious fact that VD (literally just realized the interplay with venereal disease and therefore I’m going to use the abbreviation for the rest of the article because it’s entertaining AF) is a heaping, chocolate covered, shit-stain-of-a-day.
Deep down women know this. However this holiday still exists and women continue perpetuate the notion that it’s worth celebrating. The question is: why?
As a writer, and a funny one at that, I’d love to end the article with, “No matter how hard you try, you just can’t escape VD” but, alas, I think there’s a bit more to it than that.
The Presents
Women like to be bought nice things. Humans like to be bought nice things. This concept is nothing new. Chocolate, roses, jewelry—these are a few of our favorite things. VD is ultimately a day when those things are encouraged without it having to be a birthday, anniversary, or “I’m sorry I fucked some random girl” gift.
The Bragging
I’ve made this point about women in a few of my articles but VD is just another opportunity for some women to shove how “great” their boyfriend is in the face of other women. It’s all one big ego-pissing contest where women once again take the leap in making each other feel like shit with no remorse.
The Lingerie
VD is an awesome excuse to spend pointless amounts of money on frilly, pretty, silky underwear that will inevitably end up on a floor to be forgotten in the face of true female beauty (their actual naked body).
The Control
Similarly to birthdays and anniversaries women make it a solid point to not be fucked with when it comes to VD. Basically, in the eyes of women you are morally obligated to be Prince Fuckin’ Charming for those 24-hours, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
The Sex
Some women use sex as a means of manipulation. That is to say, they only really offer it up on special occasions. VD is considered a very special occasion in the minds of some ladies and therefore it’s a great opportunity to get one of the few times she’ll bone you throughout the year out of the way.
Is everything I listed above a bad thing? No. It’s nice to receive gifts and dress up for your man and even take pride in the love your significant other feels for you by way of bragging a bit to your lady friends. I think the control and sex aspects are reserved for shitty women, so I won’t advocate that, but everything else is downright sane. My issue will forever be that we dedicate one day a year to the idea of celebrating love and intimacy and romance. It’s just complete garbage perpetuated by Hallmark and Hershey (although, I’m more of Lindt girl). But when all is said and done and the pink and red manicures of women from coast to coast begin to chip the only thing I know for certain is that no matter how hard you try, you just can’t escape VD.