If You’re A Man And Wear A (Wedding) Ring DON’T YOU EVER F*cking Do What This Guy Did

By 11.14.16

A 28-year-old man from South Africa suffered a ‘rare penile strangulation’ requiring surgery after he made the stupid, dumb, COMPLETELY FUCKING IDIOTIC decision to use his wedding ring in an erotic manner. I like to think that this man made his mistake to serve as a warning to men everywhere, men that wear rings (wedding or not), and men that plan on one day wearing rings. This man made a mistake that nearly cost him his dick.

During some sort of erotically sexual play with his wife, the man took off his wedding ring and placed it around his dick. Which, now that I’ve had some time to think about this sounds completely ludicrous. Either he has the largest fingers in the world or the smallest dick on planet earth, either way it doesn’t look good for this man.

After getting an erection the ring began to choke his dong and that’s where everything took a turn for the worst. He first tried to get the wedding ring off his dick using ‘the string method‘, which went horribly wrong. This is when he consulted doctors. And according to News 24 the doctors started by trying to sedate the man but the swelling in his dick was too much, so they had to revive him. After that, the docs busted out a fucking orthopaedic oscillating saw to try and cut the ring off of his dick which sounds like the most terrifying procedure I’ve ever heard of in my entire life.

Thankfully for the patient, they had to abandon the plan to cut the ring off of his dick because ‘the ring was too wide and too strong and there was limited space due to the swelling‘.

The last ditch effort was to stab his dick with a 20ml syringe and pink needle, making ‘multiple puncture aspirations’ to externally drain the blood from his penis being choked by a wedding ring.

Priapism True Blood

True Blood


Major takeaways here? Don’t get married. Don’t even give yourself the chance to strangle your dick with a wedding ring, just don’t get married and tricked into trying stupid shit in the heat of the moment. Don’t play games with your manhood.

[h/t News24]

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