In The Most ‘Duh’ Study Ever Conducted, Science Has Found That Weed Makes You Paranoid
Is this surprising to anyone that smokes weed? Researchers at Oxford University apparently thought so, enough to waste their time studying it.
“We recruited 121 volunteers, all of whom had taken cannabis at least once before, and all of whom reported having experienced paranoid thoughts in the previous month (which is typical of half the population). None had been diagnosed with a mental illness. The volunteers were randomly chosen to receive an intravenous 1.5mg dose of either THC (the equivalent of a strong joint) or a placebo (saline).
To track the effects of these substances, we used the most extensive form of assessment yet deployed to test paranoia, including a virtual-reality scenario, a real-life social situation, self-administered questionnaires, and expert interviewer assessments.
The results were clear: THC caused paranoid thoughts. Half of those given THC experienced paranoia, compared with 30% of the placebo group: that is, one in five had an increase in paranoia that was directly attributable to the THC.”
For everyone who’s sat in a frat satellite house stoned out of their mind and started freaking out because they thought the “saw” cop car lights out the window, you know what this is talking about. Or how about when you get food delivered and are 100% sure the pizza delivery dude is judging you for being a total baked potato? Same deal. But if you’re sitting there like “I’m high as balls right now and have no idea what you’re talking about,” apparently it doesn’t happen to everyone.
“Clearly cannabis doesn’t cause these problems for everyone. And the suspiciousness wore off as the drug left the bloodstream. But the study does show that paranoia isn’t tenuously linked to THC: for a significant number of people, it’s a direct result.”
So the next time you’re baked as fuck while standing in line at McDonalds, don’t worry. Either you’ll realize that no one actually gives two shits about how baked you are once your high wears off, or everyone is actually, 100% judging you just like you thought they were. What assholes.