Welcome Week Hook Up Heroes: Even a Blind Squirrel Finds a Nut

By 08.23.12

Think you’ve got a better Welcome Week memory? Send it our way, and we’ll see if it’s prize-worthy.  We will be publishing the cream of the crop over the next couple weeks to get you even more amped up for another school year.

Well, to set a baseline for this story one must know that where I go to college (Canada), freshman week drinking is not only permitted but also promoted by our university. Hell, The Molson family is one of
our largest donators and, as such, Molson brew is a staple of any freshman's first-week diet.

I was just coming back to start my second year at university and was chosen to be a frosh leader. I was given the regal responsibility to lead a bunch of first years through their first  week of debauchery, to keep things relatively safe, and of course, to have my pick of the finest incoming first-year bitties on hand.

On the first day, I met this cute girl. She had a perfect body from soccer, Ds with a tight waist and a nicely shaped ass. This girl was a freshly into a relationship with another guy, which she admitted was just a week old. She decided to go long-distance or something stupid along those lines.

The first night, this boyfriend story started to slide out of the picture fast, ending with a quick makeout and an acknowledgement of what was to come. Well, like a true leader, I didn't wait and went off with some other chick for the night — name not important — and that was that.

Day two started and I was laying on my 18-year-old game thick. Let's just say there was no game and at this point i was not Bro but rather a f*ckin dweeb who pulled some un-Bro moves (like trying to get her to forget her bf). Well, apparently my game was so terrible “Beth” went to my co-leader and asked her to have me step back and let her be. My co-leader informed me of this it was a shock. I was thinking WTF, what did i do, etc. In retrospect, the girl from the night before was her roommate in rez. So, I proceeded to do what any 18-year-old, in the middle of a field, surrounded by booze, would do.

Drown my shame in Molson canadians and Molson exports. Long story short, I was probably too far to be gone to be leading any of the first years through anything and far too moody to have a lively convo.

Enter new girl. This chick, “Amber,” had chatted with me a few times during the last two days but I hadnt put much into it. A few seeds planted here and there, but that flower was not yet ripe for the picking — or so I thought. She had that taut little body. Perfect legs, stomach, smaller chest, cute face etc. Well, she came up to me in my highly inebriated state and started talking, not really caring that a) I wasn't exactly paying attenting to what she was saying for I was a tad drunk and b) that I was acting like a moody bitch.

But after 5-10 minutes I pulled that simple Bro line that we all know and love. Do you want to get out of here. Now “here” was a summer camp place that our university rents for a night and throws all the drunken kid. So we have are sleeping in big cottages with lined beds — so going back to these beds was no an option.

She bit and we were quickly walking about looking for a secluded spot. I finally found the back porch of one of our cottages and we proceeded to get into it fast. Now in retrospect from 5 years of university, this girl was a true champion and at 18 i was gifted to have her. She definitely got her practice in throughout high school. She left stratch marks all down my back and was one of those few girls who can quickly reach orgasm multiple times.

Well, my drunken ass wasn't finishing and she was like “what do you want me to do?” Like any bro in training wheels would do/should do i told her i wanted a BJ. At which point she impresses me again with her skills and solves the drunken conundrum that is not being able to bust.

The next morning I was waking up back in my bed ready to meet the world fresh and start looking for the next game. It was nice and hot and we were all relaxing by the lake and when i took my shirt off I heard multiple gasps. I apparently was really really drunk cause I didnt realize how deep into my back her nails had went for I had blood streaks down my back.

For the rest of that week of Frosh I was fending off questions from Bros and garnishering mad interest from the rest of the girls! Gotta love university in Canada, especially in French Canada!

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