The Reasons Why We All Secretly Love New Jersey
With shows like the Jersey Shore and Sopranos NJ has always gotten a bad reputation. People think it’s nothing but Guidos running around calling girls “grenades” and getting in fights. NJ has lost its reputation for being a state with a rich history and beautiful scenery, and been replaced with complaints about smell and the question of “what exit do you live off of”? Instead of judging, spend some time in NJ and see that even though we have guidos, no one likes guidos but guidos.
NJ is in the cradle of civilization for the east coast. They’re close enough to NYC to get judged by them, but nice enough that both look at Pennsylvania like its trash. Hopping in a car in NJ isn’t just a chore, it’s a way of life. If anyone complains about the beaches and the dumb Italians who ruin them, they can drive an hour and go hiking on a mountain or be in one of many water parks. Most people see Newark and Elizabeth and assume the entire state looks like a Mad Max remake, when in reality NJ has streams, farms and gorgeous state parks.
It’s called the garden state for a reason. Sure the Midwest is known for being boring and its corn production, but, NJ kicks the midwests ass in food production. As a child in NJ you stop by local farm stands to purchase fresh produce and stare at hill billies who are questionably close. They may not grow as much as the Midwest but that’s because NJ has pride and doesn’t use that genetically modified garbage that makes wildlife that eats it grow extra legs. In fact, the wild life in NJ is so prolific you can find hundreds of animals just napping with their guts out on the side of the road.
The Garden State also has an unspoken of parking lot culture. Going out to eat may only take an hour or so, but guarantee you’ll be spending too much time in the parking lot saying goodbye. In NJ loitering is an art form, its passed down from one highschool graduating class to another. No one is intimidated by kids standing around outside places because it means they’re staying out of trouble. At a local Wawa parking lot a keen observer can see the local stoners mingling with hillbillies and its not a strange sight to see a 30 year old smoking pot with the youth and passing on their stories. Sure it’s a bit like Dazed and Confused, but young NJ girls are pretty easy.
They’re a beautiful mixed bag of cultures with mixed babies. In metropolitan cities many cultures separate themselves by blocks or neighborhoods. NJ has a mix of cities and rural areas, so cultures and races are constantly mixing and creating beautiful babies together. Its not uncommon to drive through Edison and see the Irish mixing with Indians, or to go to Hoboken where Italians mix with Spanish and Puerto Rican. NJ has a culture of banging so sure, the couples with kids may not be married but that just means they have a beautiful child that grows up with daddy issues.
Jersians are insane or as they call it “Fun”, they don’t take bullshit. New Jersians are a little crazy; they’ll cut you off mid sentence and when they leave the state they’re considered loud and obnoxious. They show no remorse for any of this because being the life of the party is a time honored tradition in the state. Without being loud and crazy everyone would be boring and life would go by slow, instead they bring laughter and insane stories where ever they go, even if that place is jail.
BreadFoster is a comedian that recently moved back to NJ because he missed his home. You can find more by following him on Twitter @BreadFoster