For Five Years This Woman Has Done Something To Boyfriend’s Dick To Ensure That He Doesn’t Cheat

Some women go to extremes to ensure that their men will not cheat. Constant texting, thoroughly inspect their cell phone, checking the GPS to see if locations match his story and even stalking them. However this woman believes she has a sure-fire method to make sure that her boyfriend doesn’t cheat.

For the past five years Jeannie has been signing her man’s dick before he goes out. That’s right, whenever her boyfriend goes out for an extended period of time, she will put her signature on his donger. She even takes a photo of the John Hancock to safeguard against forgeries.

“It reminds you, ‘Hey, somebody at home that actually cares about you, so why don’t you show a little respect.” Tim has no problems with the wangnature and says, “It’s almost like a wedding band.”

It gives Jeannie confidence in Tim’s fidelity. “There is no doubt in my mind that he is true to me now.”

I have questions. Does she sign when he is flaccid or aroused? Like if she signs with a full signature when he has a boner does it turn into just initials when he’s at half-mast?

Does she sign it with a regular old Sharpie or does she use one of those fancy silver autograph markers?

What happens when Tim goes out the night before he has an appointment with his urologist? He just has to go see the doctor with “JEANNIE” all over his wang?

Does Tim get to sign Jeannie’s clam? Seems only fair that if Jeannie is going out with the girls for manis, pedis and passion fruit margaritas that Tim says, “Not so fast, I’ve got to sign your vag.” Then how would that work? It would be pretty hard to sign inside a cocksocket.

Jeannie seems very insecure in herself and her relationship. However, I’ve got to admit this does seem like a very effective weapon against infidelity, until poor Tim spills water on his lap while he’s driving and gets murdered by his girlfriend for a smeared schmekel.