Woman Runs Over Man With Car After Arguing Over Sex Positions Because Everyone Knows Missionary Sucks Butt

45-year-old Florida resident (as if you even needed to guess) Wendy Luper is a woman who knows what she likes. Judging from her photo I’d have to say that list includes shitty Hair Cuttery perms and late-night trips to order off the McDonald’s dollar menu, but according to The Smoking Gun, Wendy also enjoys having sex…but NOT in the missionary position. Ho no. If you try to get Wendy to lay backwards and do her best starfish impression she’ll throw whatever’s within reach at you and then run your foot over with her car.

In other words, if you’re trying to smash Wendy Luper…let her be in charge. Or else.

The 45-year-old Florida woman was arrested Saturday evening following an bizarre series of events that began with a trip to a storage unit with her ex-husband (with whom Luper has recently reunited).

According to cops, Luper and Michael Vaccaro–who were married for 12 years–drove together to retrieve some of his belongings from their storage unit in Bradenton.

While parked in the rear of the facility, “Luper got undressed, and asked Vaccaro if he wanted to have sexual intercourse,” police reported. “Vaccaro agreed, and told Luper to lay down.”

But Luper, a court filing notes, “did not want to have sexual intercourse in that position and stated no.” It is unclear where the pair was planning to tryst, or the position that was rejected by Luper.(via)

During their argument Luper allegedly hit Vaccaro in the head with a thrown object, then as Vaccaro went to get the hell out of there and grab all his shit out of the back of the car Luper allegedly accelerated the car “with Vaccaro still halfway inside the vehicle,” ending in Luper driving over his right foot.

Cops arrived to the scene to find Vaccaro bleeding from his head and with his right foot apparently swelling. After authorities contacted Luper, she was reportedly unable to explain Vaccaro’s injuries, but stated that “Vaccaro wanted to have sex with her.”

Luper was subsequently arrested for domestic battery but then released from custody yesterday after posting $750 bond.

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO BE DWAYNE “THE ROCK” JOHNSON?


[H/T The Smoking Gun]